The Ride

I was pushed around in a wheelchair today. It couldn't have been more ironic. I worked out this morning (teaching my Stroller Strides class,) and then went to the hospital for my regularly scheduled Monday Non-Stress Test (NST) and Bio Physical Profile (BPP). There was a screw up, once again, with my scheduling and I almost wasn't able to get the BPP done without having to leave and come back a few hours later. Luckily, the ultra sound tech made it happen and I had to go from the 3rd floor Labor and Delivery to the 1st floor Ultra Sound Room to complete my testing. Apparently, this requires a wheelchair. I imagined what Christian feels like being pushed around in his stroller: simultaneously relaxed, yet frustrated knowing that he's perfectly capable of walking! All of the testing on little Peanut went great- again. He got another A+ on his BPP and the NST looked good also. But, since it's hospital policy, I was wheeled to do the BPP and then wheeled out of the hospital. The cutie ultra sound tech (from last week), wheeled me out...and it wasn't just to the entrance of the hospital...he wheeled me all the way across the parking lot to my car...where I got out and proceeded to drive myself home. I laugh even thinking about it now. So silly. I see Dr. Ballet on Wednesday and I really need to insist that we back off of some of this precautionary stuff- it's too much and I NEED to be able to adequately wrap up my event clients and do my teaching jobs and take care of Christian. Plus, I really don't want to be robbed of the joy of preparing for a new baby...the organizing, the dreaming, the decorating...if I'm at doctor appointments all of the time, there's no time for that and there really needs to be time for that.

I had an amazing afternoon with Christian. He took a long nap, allowing me to get caught up on some work, and then woke up and was playing quietly in his room. I needed to take him with me shopping to pick up supplies for some of my events and he went happily, commenting on all of the things we were seeing, with lots of questions, "What's that Mama?" It was really an afternoon that I needed!!! A tantrum free afternoon...I was beginning to think that was a thing of the past entirely.

My other "boy", Buddy, is our Golden Retriever. He is 12 years old and he has been with me through so much in my life: growing up & figuring out "who I am", a marriage, a divorce, another marriage, Christian's birth...This dog is like a little piece of my soul. He truly is "The World's Best Dog". He is so gentle with Christian and even listens to Christian's bossy little commands. When I got Buddy as a puppy, only 12 weeks old, he was an exuberant, delicious little ball of fur. I imagined having this golden retriever that you see sitting outside of Starbucks, waiting for his "person", undeterred by strangers' attention and affections. Hee hee...well, that was not quite what I got. He was a rambunctious endless ball of energy, but he was also a good student as long as he was on a leash or there was a treat in hand or a positive reinforcement to be had. As a retriever, he's always been a little delinquent. He would hardly retrieve a ball. ...He would start out chasing a ball & bringing it back, maybe one or two times, and then mid-return would suddenly decide that it was going to be better to leave the ball alone and sniff a new patch of grass instead. And his appetite has always been hearty. There was no bowl of food left around- he would immediately consume the food the second he heard it hit the bottom of his bowl (Well, actually he "sat" on command and waited for his "okay" to start eating...drooling the whole time.) He has endless energy when it comes to getting people's food- a veritable thief of foods. One year, while staying at my parents' house for Thanksgiving, he pulled the raw turkey off the table and had consumed a small chunk of it before being discovered. Needless to say, my parents were not happy, and were forced to buy a new turkey. Buddy's persistence with sneakily getting the "people food" is part of why Christian shouts daily, bossy commands...it's like he can read Buddy's mind, and if he walks away from his breakfast or his snack, he knows Buddy is going to make a move. Christian shouts, "No Buddy! You stay!! You lay down! All the way down! Put your head down! 1...2...3!!!!" (I'm pretty sure Christian gets the 1...2...3 part from how I occasionally discipline him!) :) I share these stories about Buddy, because I'm worried about him. He's not eating. I know there must really be something wrong for this dog to not eat, and it breaks my heart. On one hand, I really need him to be around for ME right now, but on the other hand, he is too old to be rushed into the vet and put through distressing tests...I don't think I could let him go through a surgery at his age if he ended up needing one... I'm not sure what to do yet. I'm hoping that this is temporary, but I'm worried because of his age. I've always said he needs to live forever, and I feel like I need him more now than ever before. I'll warn you all now...if this dog goes before Peanut gets here, I will not be okay. I will need to be scraped off the floor. Seriously.

I'm putting my worries on the shelf now...about Peanut, about Buddy, about anything that starts to overwhelm me. Because one of the things I've learned in life, is that worry doesn't change anything- except for how you feel. So, I'll let God sort out the details and I'll focus on what I need to do right now. ...And right now, I need to get ready for bed, take care of myself and try out this saline rinse thingy I picked up at the drugstore to try to clear my cold out quicker (Nights have still been a nightmare.) I anticipate an interesting scenario with this saline thingy. I've never used one before, so it might have aspects of hilarity to it. Wish me luck!