(35 weeks pregnant)
I'm starting to get REALLY nervous. Because he's coming. Peanut, who doesn't even have a name yet, is coming! I saw Dr. Kim on Tuesday, and she "checked me"- I'm a "fingertip dialated". I don't know exactly what that means, but it means he's really coming. And I desperately want to be done working. I joke about having "pregnancy brain" because I feel so forgetful, but I think it's less about some concrete hormonal change and more about the fact that I have way too much to do and only a human brain to contain the details within. Two more weeks. Two more weeks of making sure I don't drop the ball. Then, I can focus on me and my expanding family. Please God, let me have a little time to focus on that before Peanut arrives! So, until then I am buckling down. I just have to get through a small event this weekend, 5 ballet parties at my house next weekend, then a giant bar mitzvah event the following weekend, plus responsibly turn over all of my ballet classes with appropriate notes and CDs in check. Oh yeah, and find a sub for my Stroller Strides classes, continue to be Mom to Christian, keep up with my house, stay in tune with my dying dog to know whether or not we should put him to sleep, and prepare for a new baby living in our home in a few weeks time. That's all. Do you have a headache yet? ...Cuz I think I just got one writing all of that.
Christian was born two weeks early. Charles and I had been working on the house and he, in particular, had been pulling crazy hours trying to get it all done when we threw our last party, called "Cinco de Mayo/ Last bash Before Baby!" All Charles kept saying was, "I can catch up on a little sleep after the party and then we'll take a week to finish things up and then be ready for the baby a week early!" I have never seen a person turn so green when, upon saying goodbye to our final guests, my water broke. We headed to the hospital from there and I'm not quite sure if Charles has caught up on his sleep since! :) The story of Charles' exhaustion kind of haunts me, because I keep hearing myself say, "Just get through the next two weeks and THEN..."
I got a card today from someone I really needed to hear from. It was someone who I haven't really heard from since we broke the news about Peanut's diagnosis. It was just a simple card to say that everything is going to be alright and to try to enjoy the last few weeks of being a Mother of one. Wise words from a wise Mother-of-two. I cried to hear from her...somehow I just needed that. Despite the fact that I am a huge fan of modern technology: internet, cell phones, email, Googling, and now blogs, there is something so powerful about a handwritten card. Nothing quite beats it.
Well, I'm off to snuggle some more with my pup while I still can, get some rest, and then focus, focus, focus...(And, please, no one call me "SuperMom". I am truly beginning to hate that expression. I am not SuperMom. I do not want to be SuperMom. That title is up for grabs!!)