Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Everything's gonna be alright
(36 weeks pregnant!)
Despite feeling like a bad country song lately, I've had some moments of optimistic clarity today. I have one event left to wrap up with my design and coordination company before I get an official break before Peanut arrives, and as it draws nearer, I think that I might just pull it off. I have SO much to do to finish work and prepare for the baby, but I am actually ticking through my list, and if Peanut can hang in there for a few more weeks (three would be ideal!!)then maybe I will have a chance to feel like I can breathe for a second. And minus the horrible heartbreak of losing my furry companion, things have been going alright...work is wrapping up somewhat smoothly (Please God, do not let me jinx myself here), thanks to the generosity of our friends and family we have most everything we need to bring a baby home with us in a few weeks, and Peanut is doing GREAT! Peanut is a big boy. (Insert joy and simultaneous fear here.) Dr. Ballet wanted me to take another gestational diabetes test because he just wants to make absolutely sure that the size of the baby isn't due to a high glucose level in the womb (even though I had a normal result a few weeks ago AND got a normal result on a finger prick test.) So, I went in on Monday and drank the awful orange sugar drink and sat for an hour at the lab before having them take my blood. I got my results today- NORMAL!! So, after all of the precautionary measures, Dr. Ballet did admit that having a large baby (between the 75th and 95th percentile) is actually a good thing, and that generally they have less complications in their first year of life (fingers crossed, breath held and prayers said.) So, things are okay. Things are really okay. And I'm truly starting to believe that everything really is going to be alright.
Where my little man, Christian, in involved, I think we've turned a corner...even if only temporarily. He still throws tantrums, as most almost-3-year-olds do, but we're not seeing anymore cursing and his behavior has been pretty amenable lately. We've had some really fun times together in the last couple of weeks. I also think he may be starting to somewhat grasp the idea of a baby brother coming. Today he pointed to the infant car seat (still in the box, but in the car at least) and asked, "That my baby brother's seat?" I love that. He's also been a fiend for coloring lately, and we go through pages after pages of art paper. He even drew an airplane. It actually looks like an airplane. He said, "Mommy, I draw an airplane." I looked over and nearly fell off my seat, because it really IS an airplane. Wow. It's amazing how much they learn and grow, and you go along for awhile thinking they don't know their colors or they can't draw a true resemblance of an object, and then one day, there it is...all colors identified and real objects being drawn. It's amazing to get to be a part of that learning journey.
My other "Boy", not so much a boy, is my sweetie Charles. I'll admit that he gets the brunt of annoyed looks and irritated responses from me because sometimes him just being him pushes my buttons. But, I have been feeling a lot of love for him. I feel like he's really coming into his own as a Dad. He doesn't do everything like I do, but he's got his own rhythm now, and he's learning to use play and humor to get Christian to do things. It warms my heart to see Charles just take over without me having to ask. Often, first thing in the morning, I hear the two of them chatting away. It's nice because Charles is naturally a morning person, where I am not, so it's nice to get an extra 15-20 minutes in bed and know that they are just fine without me. They have fun together and they do special Dad and Son things together, like go and look at trains or go to see the old bomber planes at the local airport. And, Christian and I have our Mom and Son things- dancing is a big one for us (no surprise there). It's adorable to see him want to dance, whether it is to the Mexican folk music blaring from our neighbor's yard or rockin out to Lady Gaga, as I caught him doing in the car this morning. (Yep, no toddler music happening in my car...yet...because I know one day I'll have no choice. So, for now we listen to "my" music. ...Not that I'm actually claiming Lady Gaga as my music. It just happened to be on...Really!)
I'm in relatively good spirits even though I am fighting awful allergies (which make the day to day a little tougher) and Buddy is still weighing heavily on my heart, but at the end of the day, I feel blessed and that I have SO much to be grateful for!