So, how do you go about being true and honest with your feelings and actions, but also avoid making someone else feel badly? It's a fine line, right? I'm on the brink of having to have some difficult conversations and have decided to conduct them via writing, so that I can organize my thoughts, make sure that I'm clear and avoid any haphazard emotions flying around unattended. First and foremost, I need to write a letter to Christian's preschool teachers. After a week and a half of stress over a Parent-Teacher conference, followed by a couple of professionals assessing the situation, we've moved past it. The director of the school gave the teachers the short story conclusion based on my conversation with her, but I'm having a LOT of feelings all wrapped around this and feel that some of it needs to come from me. (I plan to cc the director as well so there is no more she said this, she said that going on.) I also ran into the Mommy and Me teacher that seemed to fuel this whole thing, while picking Christian up at school today. She was very nice, as always, but I felt there was...I don't know....energy behind it? I could be projecting. However, it was a reminder and a confirmation that I also need to have some dialogue with her. After all, I have a public forum (my blog) and while I don't use names anymore unless I know someone is okay with it (lesson learned, thanks to my Ex), if the person I am talking about happens across my blog, it could be....uncomfortable. Additionally, I happen to REALLY like this person (the Mommy and Me teacher). I really don't like how much stress it ended up causing me and my family, but I know for certain that her intentions were pure and coming from a genuine place of concern (even if I believe the concerns were misplaced.) At the end of the day, it would be nice to retain a great relationship with all of the teachers- I like them. But here's the thing: I like my son, MORE. I hope it doesn't have to be an either/or situation, but if there is weirdness remaining, then I side with my son. period.
This weekend was amazing- it actually felt like a real weekend for the first time in a long time. I took Christian on "a date" to see "Tangled" at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. He loved it. We started the adventure with a private meet and greet with Snow White!!! Thanks to a friend on "the inside" we had a chance to meet Snow White before the show began and take a few pictures. Christian actually really got a kick out of it and later that day said to me, "Mommy, your hair wants to be black." I said, "Why?? Is it because Snow White's hair is black?" He said, "Mm, hm. Snow White is pretty." He's a lady killer already! Once our meet and greet was over, we were led to our seats and I snuck out for a second to grab some popcorn and drinks. The movie is shown in 3D, but those glasses stayed on him all of 5 minutes. Then he watched the rest of the film, blurry pictures and all- sans glasses. As all Disney movies are, there were some scary parts, but he seemed to do fine with them. There was one part at the end (and I'll try not to spoil it here) where a Mommy takes a long fall. That one has stayed with him. He has commented a handful of times since the movie about how "The Mommy fell down a long way." I explained that she was a very bad Mommy. Christian chimed in, "Yeah! She's a bad guy," then said, "You're a good guy, Mommy." Thank goodness. Whew! I made the good guy list.
Elijah's been having a little fun too these days with new milestones! We started him on solids about 2 weeks ago and he seems to love it. He's eating well, and minus a little bit of tongue thrusting, is getting a good serving daily. It's time to move on to some new flavors, but I have been having a really hard time juggling my schedule and adjusting to two additional feeds a day, plus having enough foresight to have all ingredients ready to go. When Christian was a baby, I started him on jarred baby food, because there is such an abundance of choices, including organic ones. However, we moved to Australia when he was only 7 months old and I found that the selection there was minimal. They do a crazy thing Down Under...prepare to gasp....They. make. their. own. baby. food. ...................I know!! As in, everyone. Not just the hippie, granola, vegan types. So, in order to give my baby something other than just applesauce, I started making my own too. You know what? It was easy. I'd cook a couple of times a week, freeze the left overs in ice cube trays, then defrost as I went. I did it. I know it was easy. So why am I dragging my feet again? I know once I take the plunge and make my first batch of sweet potatoes or applesauce, it'll be back in the saddle for me, but it's the getting there.... My favorite part of mealtime for Elijah, is how much Christian wants to help. And there is major meltdown if I don't let him. The funny part is that I think Elijah really likes it too. Despite having to divide my attention between two, I don't feel like Christian has had any animosity toward Elijah at all. He seems to be really balanced about Elijah, and will even ask (alarmingly, while looking over at an empty car seat), "Where's Elijah???" if I have decided to leave him home with Charles for an outing. To coin Martha Stewart: It's a good thing.
Also, some big news: Elijah is finally rolling from his back to his belly!! He's been rolling from belly to back for a couple of months now, but I was only seeing a roll to his side and never all the way over. However, the other day I put him on his back on a playmat on the floor and went into the kitchen for a minute. When I came back, he was on his belly! Then two days later, I saw him do it! It was very exciting!! He is also started to grab at toys with both hands instead of just one. I am anxious to get his therapies going and am annoyed that everything has to take so much effort to get the system to work. So, I'll call again tomorrow to find out what the hold up is. Again.
While many of my friends and much of the country spent this last weekend getting all decked out for Christmas, I felt like things were moving just a little too fast for me and decided to soak in my fall harvest decorations for one final long weekend before moving on. Today, the moving on began just a little. I took Christian and Elijah to see Santa at the mall. It was badly timed, though, with the Bring your dog to see Santa Day. We stood in line behind half a dozen pooches waiting our turn. We stood in front of two beautiful golden retriever Therapy dogs. They were magnificent and so gentle around the kids. I couldn't help but start tearing up. I miss my dog Buddy SO much... So, we waited for half an hour to see Santa. In line. Behind dogs and other children and Christian did great. ADD? I. don't. think. so. We finally got up to see Santa, who seemed a little tired and was kinda phoning in the Santa act. I had to tell Christian to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas (Santa didn't ask.) So, Christian said, "A bear." Santa looked confused (probably cuz he didn't ask for a Wii), so I prompted, "A stuffed bear or a real bear?" (Because we had gone over this in the car and he laughed and said "Stuffed!" Of course. Well, he had his moment with Santa, and when asked Stuffed or real, he went for it and said, "Real." Santa laughed and said to me, "I hope you have a big cage at home!"Our pictures were far less than stellar. Christian is going through a phase where he cannot just smile naturally and take a picture. So, I finally tried "directing" the shoot a little and just told him to look at Elijah. It's still not great. But, I have my two boys and Santa in the picture. I better have. I paid 17 bucks for a crappy photo. :) We'll try again another day...