Wednesday, May 26, 2010

And...Reboot.

I started writing a completely different kind of blog post tonight. I was complaining about my day at traffic court and how it's the drudgery of life that always seems to require the most effort. I re-read what I had written and it all just sounded so...exhausting (and it really was), so I hit delete and called my guilty pleasure: Happy Feet. Happy Feet is a reflexology massage place that has the best 1 hour, $30 massages in L.A, in my opinion. I needed a fresh perspective and a little time away from all of the responsibilities swirling around in my head. So, I made a last minute massage appointment and took off for a little mind, body and attitude readjustment. At the hands of my masseur, all of the stress and tension melted away and I remembered the last time I was there: 5 weeks and 3 days ago. I met up with a couple of girlfriends for a massage. I was 37 and a half weeks pregnant and had just finished my last event client before my official "maternity leave". While I relaxed across the room from my friends, I started having light contractions. They were so light at first, that I wasn't even sure that was what was happening. Sure enough, that was the beginning of Elijah's entrance into this world. It made me think a lot about my experience with his birth and the week following. It's kind of funny that when I tell people that I had a completely natural birth with Elijah- no drugs- they mostly say, "WHY??!!" How can I explain that it was so much easier than you think. It was easier, less painful and more beautiful than you could ever think. And that's the thing...it's the thinking that gets you into the most trouble. It's not that his birth wasn't hard and painful to some degree, but it's that I didn't think about those things. It was my attitude about it that made the difference. It's a reminder for life. Attitude is everything. And it's easy to get off kilter...life has a way (with traffic courts and bills and to do lists) of saying, "How are you going to see this opportunity today?" Tonight I got a chance to reboot. I started off kinda irritated and snippy and complainy (probably NOT an official word, but it should be.) Tonight I got to make a change with the help of a $30 gift certificate to Happy Feet and a one hour massage. It has me thinking about changing my perspective on some other things. I have been in crazy organizing mode and I've really made some great headway, but it's easy to see how much is still left and miss the miracle of what has already been done. So I am challenging myself to change my attitude whenever possible...at least for now. I still have a huge black cloud of responsibilities hanging over my head, but today I checked one off that list. Tomorrow I will aim to check one more off that list and start to reduce my black cloud. (My black cloud is always full of the things that I really need to handle but don't...or can't...or won't. This cloud is usually full of fear over these things. Anyone else relate to this black cloud idea?) The black cloud is usually of my own making. For example, my traffic ticket was just a fix it ticket that would have cost me minimally, had I handled it immediately. Instead, I made excuses about not being able to read the cops writing (it really was totally illegible) and not wanting to drive to West LA Court and not having the money to pay the fines, etc. Because I waited and let fear rule, my fines increased, my license was suspended, then I got pulled over again for the same violation and was ticketed again and will have to repeat this process a second time. I'd like to say lessen learned, but it seems like this is one of those lessons that I need to learn and re-learn over and over. However, I am going to enjoy this moment of reflection and readjustment. It is a huge reminder that having time for myself (even if it is just one hour) can reboot me back to a refreshed, happy person and a better Mommy. ...Just in time for continued Potty Training tomorrow...

...More to come on our Potty Training experience...:0

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