The year of Settling

I looked up the definition for "Settling" and confirmed that it probably best summed up my feelings about this year as a whole. Here are my favorites:
Settling- To restore calmness or comfort to.; To put into order; arrange or fix definitely as desired.; To put firmly into a desired position or place; establish.

Not to be confused with Settling for...which I have done in my past, but rarely becomes an issue for me now...

2011. It was a year of settling in. Settling in to the routine of a family of four.  Settling into my youngest's therapy schedule.  Settling into new goals and resolutions.  Settling into my roles, my body. Settling in to who I am.   I want to reflect on the year: What I learned this year, the highlights, old resolutions and the making of new resolutions.  Strap yourselves in folks, this could be a long one.

The beginning of 2011 was filled with lots of family and friends, and getting back to work on my event business:
Grandma came to visit in January:

My Mom and Dad celebrated their 40th anniversay:


Christian and Elijah work on their bond:


I read more good books and enjoyed creative outings with my book club friends in the name of said good books...oh, what am I saying?  We just like to get out and have fun, even if it has nothing at all to do with the book...

Self Lesson #1: I learned more than ever to Trust Your Instincts.  Whether someone says something that "doesn't fit" or you're feeling like a doctor has it all wrong- usually if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. I have questioned this about myself for so many years, but the reality is that my instinct hasn't steered me wrong, and when I listen...even when it's not what I want to hear, I avoid the big mistakes.

In February, we hung with friends in Santa Barbara. It was so much fun to just relax and cook and eat and catch up!:



In March, I ticked a 2011 resolution off of my list, and went on a girls trip. Wine tasting, gambling, shopping- what could be better!  I picked the perfect roomie, went on my first wine tasting experience, and literally danced the night away (We won't talk about the knee injury I sustained as a result.  Just a short 6 months later, the knee was all better.  Good reminder to myself: Heels, uneven surfaces and Britney Spears moves do not mix.)

Self Lesson #2: Say I'm Sorry. And mean it. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.  I make mistakes.  Those two little words can be some of the hardest to utter, especially when you're not sure how they will be received. However, think of how it feels when you're on the receiving end? Even if you're not ready to forgive and forget, it feels good. And when you don't get an "I'm sorry"? It's easy to feel invalidated, to feel like someone doesn't care, and that always feels bad. I am reminded to take responsibility for my actions and say I'm sorry when I've hurt someone or done something wrong.

In April, Elijah turned One! We threw him a Retro Superhero Party because he's our little superhero:

He also got kissed by cows.  Maybe I'm just projecting more onto Elijah than there really is, but I think he has a gentleness that maybe animals can sense.  Whatever it was, it was kind of an awesome moment...moments (it was not just one interested cow...)





In May my sweet Christian turned 4. We celebrated with a big bash- A Fancy, Pool, Costume Party (from one of Christian's favorite Mo Willems books):

In June, I had to say goodbye to my long time friend, Keren.  Life is so fleetingly short.  Say I love you. Say how much you appreciate someone. Even though I hadn't seen Keren for awhile before her death, I know that she knew I loved her and vice versa.  It is a lot to say I knew that. (Keren is the dark haired beauty in this picture.):



July saw beach trips and getaways to Palm Springs with friends:







Self Lesson #3: Take Time For Yourself. This is mandatory- even if you have to be creative about how and when you take that time.  It is the reason that when you go on an airplane and they teach you that if the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling, put on yours first and then help your children.  I find that it is truly THAT life saving.  Both for my sanity and for all of those around me.

In August, I turned 40. I had an amazing birthday party with the people I love and decided to grip 40 by the rails and go gracefully with it...of course a little hot pink dress never hurts anything:







Christian started his second year of Preschool and a Boys Hip Hop class in September:


Elijah started standing:


I started a new business venture and took on a partner for my business.  My dear friend Karen and I are now on a mission together to make "La Soiree Chic" parties something special! :


Halloween was a ton of fun! Christian was adamant about being a dragon for Halloween and thought Elijah should be a dragon too:





In November, we raised money for and attended the Buddy Walk to benefit The Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles. Our team-"Elijah's Chariots" :



Self Lesson #4: Find a Positive Outlook. I am, in general, a "glass-is-half-full" girl.  I've also found that sometimes you need to put on a smile on, even when you're not feeling it at first. However, I've also found over the past 2 years that when I'm just not feeling good or right or just downright negative, that it is best to lean on a friend's shoulder, cry my eyes out, or post a blog pity party- And then move on. Life isn't fair, and it isn't easy and it isn't predictable.  So, it's just going to be generally a better experience to try to see the positive in the journey.


December was all about Christmas, and all I can say is that the word that sums this year up was...Magical. Experiencing it all through Christian's eyes brought back all of the old childhood beliefs and re-enforced the importance of creating our own traditions to enjoy with our little family:



I might never before been able to say that I was able to check all of my New Year's Resolutions off, but last year, I made these resolutions and this is how they worked out:

1. Continue to find a better balance between work and family. Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize.
*This is a work in progress, and will be even more so in this coming year as I work to expand my business. However, it has been something I have been taking seriously all year, and continue to have a pattern of succeeding and failing. :)

2. Get my pre-baby body back!!
*I worked harder than I ever have before, changed my diet and dropped back down to a size I'm happy with! It was really difficult and I feel good about the fact that I stuck to it and made it happen.



3. Treat myself to a fabulous pair of heels...even if I have no place to wear them. Then, create a scenario where said pair of heels is worn!
*New fierce heels to wear at fabulous event (my 40th Bday):



4. Girls Trip! I've been wanting to do some sort of a girls trip, and I think 2011 is the year to do it!
*Took TWO girls trips actually! (One was wine tasting & the other was a fabulous birthday present from my best friend to Carpinteria, where we got pedicures, ate and vegged out to movies :




5. Listen to my instincts- particularly when I feel certain people or situations are too draining. Life is too short to waste the energy!
*This year confirmed how right on my instincts really are.  This might be one of those lessons that needs to occasionally be re-learned, but right now I feel more sure of my instincts than ever before!

I love the fresh page feeling of a New Year, and this year I'm aiming for some big resolutions.  My resolutions for 2012 are:

1. Live with less "stuff", by purging more, setting up better organization systems and sticking to them!  It's a challenge to live in a small space and becomes even more important to get rid of things as new ones come in.  My commitment in 2012 is to let go of at least 1 thing as something new comes in.
2. Make more money!! I know people who have no problem setting their worth, financially, but this has always been difficult for me. The reality is that I haven't been charging enough in my business for the amount of work and effort I put in.  I am worth more. My family deserves more.  And if I am going to do this crazy balance of working from home and parenting, then it should be paying our bills. We struggle a lot and I am ready for that to change this year.
3. Face the tasks that I usually run from.  These include overdue bills, getting our health insurances settled, dealing with car maintainance, and other black clouds that hang over my head.  They will never be easy, but running from them just means that I carry them as a weight on my shoulders.  Get rid of the black clouds in 2012!!
4. Stop taking things personally.  I spend WAY too much time second guessing people's comments.  Was that about me?  Are they trying to tell me something?  Am I guilty of doing that?  I have always tried to live my life by "keeping my side of the street clean" so that I feel good when I put my head on my pillow at night.  I might not always get it right, but it comes down to intention. Were my intentions pure in my actions?  If not, that's on me. If they were, but someone feels differently, then they are going to have to say it, outright.  No more second guessing myself and taking things personally. Period. I waste too much time on that.
5. Take more pictures.  It turns out that the love of photography does run in my family. My Dad has been a hobby photographer for most of my life.  I really love it too and I'd like to be able to get the kind of photos with my camera that I imagine in my brain.  No professional aspirations- just would love to know more about my camera and how to take beautiful pictures of my family and events!

2010 was a year of incredible change and growth and I had hopes for 2011 to be a little bit less of a stretch, and it was.  Although, I still learned some powerful lessons, this was a year of settling in to what is. I'm embracing the many wonderful memories from the year, but looking forward with anticipation to the newness and challenges that lay ahead in 2012- some of which may involve kindergarten, business expansion, new milestones for Elijah and I'm sure many unforeseen to come.  I'm ready to move from Settling to Stretching my wings a little more...

What goals and resolutions have you made for yourself in 2012?  I like the idea that most yoga classes begin with: Setting an Intention.
What's your Intention for 2012?

The Christmas Contact High

Wow. Christmas with a 4 and a half year old, a one and half year old, and a bevy of friends and family to celebrate with, is about as good as it might get. Each year seems to get better and better, and I'm left figuring it's gotta tap out at some point? Start to wane?  But, definitely not yet. 





Charles and I took our roles of preparing for the kids' Christmas morning seriously.  Though, thanks to one very complicated (with no instructions) City set, it was. not. easy.  (I thought Charles was going to blow Santa's cover about 3 times when he started in at Christmas dinner about how difficult the set was to put together.)  Our Christmas Eve's preparations were made even more challenging by the lingering of a ton of great food and wine enjoyed with friends at their traditional Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes.  The boys were asleep the second their heads hit the pillows, and Charles and I felt not far behind.  But, alas, Christmas "put togethers" had other plans.



We got a late start in the morning thanks to the late night (cue the hallelujah chorus), but woke up to Christian's excited face.  It made every last piece of that darn City Set worth it.



And lo and behold...Santa ate the cookies and milk we left for him and the reindeer ate all of the carrots. (Christian insisted we leave the milk for Santa in his "Christian" mug.)



Elijah had fun opening/throwing his presents...







Elijah was just approved for Speech therapy and one of the recommended items to help with pre-speech development is photos of everyday items.  Pictures of Mommy and Daddy, of course, but also things like a cup, a spoon, a dog, a cat. The real-life photographs are the first step to help develop speech.  It's such a simple idea, but is so easy to overlook as a parent.  Elijah's little soft photo album for Christmas is going to be our first set of basic pictures, but my goal is to do a whole binder full of pictures of different items.  I sometimes wonder if I'm making it up, but we're hearing more and more first syllables out of Elijah. "Da-da" as he sees Daddy coming, "Mum" for me, and he seems to be mimicking the first sound of some words. (We were showing him a picture of an Octopus and saying, "Octopus, Octopus" and I swear (and the therapist who witnessed it, agrees) that he said, "Ock, Ock".



But this Christmas was really Christian's time to shine.  He really "gets" it this year and as a result, it was SO much fun!!  It was four days straight of friends, fun, gifts, sweets and late bedtimes.



Every good thing must come to an end, though.  As we drove home from our Christmas gathering at my parents house, Christian said, "Now THAT was a good day." I couldn't agree more.  I think all of the celebrating and the 'contact high' that a four year old gets from all of this Christmas stuff led to the little voice we heard in the middle of the night..."Mommy, I'm sick."  Groan.  I'm grateful that the "sick" happened on the let down and allowed us a beautiful, exciting and fun filled Christmas season.  I'm already thinking about all that has happened this year and the fresh-start feeling that comes from turning the page onto a new year...

I'm still on my contact high, but it is slowly and gently wearing off.  Now I get to just enjoy my family and some friends over the next week while all is quiet on the work front, and that couldn't sound any better to me!

Dancing with Elijah

I talked in my last post about how Elijah was riveted upon watching some live dance at my dance studio's Holiday Party. Well, tonight I caught some video of him dancing with me- it is a joyous thing to be a part of to say the least! Be still my former dancer's heart. I had to share: (Don't forget to pause the music player at the bottom of the page!)



I hope that makes you giggle, because it was certainly contagious on my part. This season has been so much fun with him. Even though I've noticed a little return to "jelly legs" in regards to his standing (Our PT thinks it's a temporary set back due to a growth spurt), he is continuing to reach new milestones each week. This week saw him under the Christmas tree with ornaments in hand- proud expression on his face: "Look what I have Mommy!!" Then, there is the unwrapping gift Ninja moves: He climbs under the tree, on top of the packages, and unwraps those he can figure out. Gift bags don't stand a chance, and gift tags are easily and happily removed! It's hard to stay firm about the antics, because frankly it's so darn adorable.

Last thought of note: After Charles finished filming the video of Elijah and I dancing, I played it back. Elijah grabbed the camera, pulled his face in a little closer, then pointed at us and looked up at me, as if to say, "There we are!!" He was mesmerized. It was kind of surprising because he isn't interested in the television at all. I guess the TV is not as exciting when Mommy and he are not on it.

I've always loved dancing, but it has a new, sweeter meaning now that I can share it with my boys...

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

Our holiday cards started going out a few days ago, and it's starting to actually feel like Christmas is on it's way. Work has taken over with abundance the last couple of months, and I've found myself craving time to just "do nothing" with my family. I finally had that chance this weekend! Well..we didn't exactly do nothing... I decorated the Christmas tree with Christian on Saturday, which was about as heart warming of an experience as I can recall. Christian was SO excited to decorate the tree and wanted to hang EVERY ornament. We got out the step ladder and let him get to work! I hung all of the cherished, breakable ornaments that I have been collecting since I was 16 years old, and Christian hung all of the non-breakables. (My Aunts started a beautiful tradition many years ago- in lieu of other types of Christmas gifts, they would send my sister and I a Christmas ornament for our future trees.  I love these ornaments- I remember who each ornament came from and I look forward with anticipation to unwrapping them from their year's hiatus to place on the tree. It is a tradition I plan to pay forward with my own niece and nephews down the line!)  Christian took his job seriously and tried his best to convince me to let him hang even some of the breakable ornaments..."Please, PLEASE Mommy, I will be weally, WEALLY carful!" I just couldn't cave though, because despite his very best- most "carful" intentions, ornaments fell like rain as he tried to place them on the tree. (I secretly rearranged a few after he went to sleep that night- I just couldn't entirely bring myself to endure the whole season with a straight row of: crystal icicle, red glitter ball, red glitter ball, red glitter ball, crystal icicle, crystal icicle...)



Elijah- who currently seems happiest if he is throwing something, behaved himself rather nicely with the tree.  He takes an interest in it, but hasn't tried getting into mischief about it yet.  Fingers crossed that this theme continues and we won't spend Christmas with a baby gate around the tree... But, the biggest news is that Elijah got his two front teeth!! Just in time for Christmas!!  Just like the song!! Which is why the song is stuck in my head!! And won't come out!! And I taught it to Christian!! And now he won't stop singing it!!  :)
I am really excited about the teeth, though.  Teeth have been a very slow process with Elijah.  It was on that "list" of things that will be delayed due to an extra chromosome, but I was really beginning to wonder.  So, I'm sighing a tiny sigh of relief that more teeth are making an appearance and hopefully moving us closer to additional self feeding stages.  (We had brunch today and tried to mix some mostly dry pancake pieces in with Elijah's tried-and-true "puffs", but he could not be deceived.  He would eat a puff, pick up a pancake piece and chuck it onto the floor, then pick up another puff, and eat away...pancake-floor, puff-mouth, and so on and so forth.)



Saturday night saw us celebrating with my dance studio for the annual Holiday party with the competition team.  I was curious to see how Elijah would do in a large room full of screaming girls, but he took it all in stride. He flirted where necessary and made himself at home.  Christian, of course, immediately found the group of older boys (one of which, he adores-James, who is the nephew of our babysitter) and was barely to be seen again. At the end of the night, the girls perform some of their group dances for each other and for the parents.  I sat down & put Elijah in my lap even though he was struggling to get away. The music started, the girls began dancing and Elijah was mesmerized. I got teary. I mean, the boy won't watch two seconds of television, but live dancing had him hooked.  I couldn't be prouder.  He watched 3 straight routines with rapt attention, but by number 4, he was ready to cruise on his own again...well, he is 19 months after all!

This morning (Sunday), we attended a "Brunch with Santa" at my parents' country club.  This is, hands down, the biggest perk about my parents actually having a "country club". The brunch is spectacular- The mimosas and coffee are flowing and the food spread is insane- from made-to-order omelettes to an impressive seafood display.  And while we are enjoying the over indulgence, Santa and Mrs Claus make an entrance and come around to say "hi" to all of the kids!  To be honest, I haven't been sure if Christian is buying our "Santa story". Even on the way to the brunch, Charles was telling some story about the Elves and how they help Santa (mind you, in true Charles form, it was a little... elaborate.  Even I was losing the gist.)  Christian cut him off mid-story by saying, "Okay. Sure, guys. Whatever you say."  Charles and I were cracking up, but it was just a little more evidence that he just wasn't buying it. But, when Santa and Mrs Claus came over to our table, Christian couldn't have looked more pleased, or comfortable, or convinced. (Unlike our experiences with the forced grins and ridiculously bad portraits with the mall Santas...)




Here, Christian is telling Santa that he is almost as tall as him (as long as he stands on a chair)!!

Later, the kids got their formal picture with Santa and a special surprise: a gift hand-picked for each child! Christian and his cousin Davin got these adorable, life-like (actually, a little freaky-life-like) cats that purr and clean themselves. The good news is, they don't piss or smell, so Christian can keep it!  Elijah's experience with Santa was, well, I think the pictures say it best:

Pure interest. Didn't matter how many times we called Elijah's name or tried to get him to look at us for the photo. He was sitting on Santa's lap and was completely curious: Who is this strange man in a giant red suit??? "Santa" gave Elijah a little xylophone. Perhaps, he can learn to tink out the tune to "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth"...of course, that might just make the matter worse...

I have so much to look forward to over the next few weeks: a little time off from work, some gatherings with friends and family, more yoga (!) due to said time off, some time for new goal setting, and hopefully the time and frame of mind to soak in the holiday moments with my boys. I feel a little more at peace just thinking about it.