tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38481698878818585102024-02-22T12:17:23.016-08:00Me and My BoysJen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.comBlogger217125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-88329869132440088992015-05-05T21:20:00.000-07:002015-05-05T21:20:31.529-07:00Everything and Nothing like I thought it would be<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My little one is going to be starting Kindergarten- very soon. My big one is becoming a little man before my very eyes. And my life is everything I'd hoped it would be, and nothing like I thought it would be.<br />
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Today I received a call from Elijah's very first therapist. She was the first person- the first <i>professional</i>- that came into my home and told me that everything was going to be just fine, because Elijah is <i>just fine</i>. She called me today because she is working with a new Mom who is struggling with a diagnosis of Down syndrome for her baby boy. She hoped I would be willing to chat with her and then she said, "because I know the world could never be an all bad place because there are families like yours out there loving your babies like you do." Boom. That's what it is. This thing...this diagnosis is not the sum of the parts. It's a part. A small part. The rest of it is just about being a family that is out there loving our boys. I called and left a message for this new Mom. I hope she calls me, because I need her to hear my voice when I say that my sons are everything I'd ever hoped they would be and nothing like I thought they'd be. Both of them- diagnosis or not.<br />
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Elijah turned 5 less than two weeks ago. He's thriving in preschool, has a fan club at the school where he will attend next year (despite my surprise...it takes this dude even less time that I thought to make everyone fall in love with him...) and was called a "jock" by his physical therapist. I'm just in a season of enjoyment with him. He's the most communicative boy- and considering that he has a fraction of the vocabulary of most kids his age, that is saying something! He loves Curious George, Rio (the movies, the music, the birds, the dancing...and knows everything by heart), his Mommy, his Daddy, Ti-tan (Christian), loves music, dancing, school, his teachers....his list of dislikes? Pretty much hates getting his hair and nails cut. Like <i>HATES</i> it. Other than that, we're mostly good. ;)<br />
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We had a party and let him play til his heart was content (which apparently wasn't quite fully content by the time we had to leave...)<br />
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On Thursday, we celebrate my big boy, Christian. He will be 8 years old, which is hard to believe...</div>
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Christian...</div>
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He's getting to be such a big boy- smart, considerate, polite, kind, active, stubborn...and still loves his stuffed leopard Leo. So, I haven't lost him yet. I'm looking forward to celebrating him this week. I have a lot planned to make him smile. Treats for his class, dinner with the family, a little gift (before a bigger gift- as a trip with the family) and then in a little more than a week, a Secret Agent Birthday party with his classmates from school. Ah...this guy keeps me on my toes, but I couldn't be prouder. And I didn't even mention that <i>THIS</i> happened...</div>
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He's taking my ballet class!! Now...I can't say that this is going to go anywhere, (he didn't get "my feet"), but the very sweetest, best part is that when I asked him why he wanted to take my ballet class he said, "So I can be with you." Be still my heart. I'll take it. Listen, I'm a huge believer that dance is an all-around fabulous learning tool- both educationally and socially- but if he's there mostly because he "wants to be with me," I'll take it. It makes me happier than I think it probably should, for some reason. </div>
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This being a parent "thing"...wow. I guess it's just everything and nothing like I thought it would be...</div>
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-27593439907548863492014-09-06T21:01:00.000-07:002014-09-06T21:01:12.643-07:00Contagious.My Elijah started a swim class about 3 months ago now. It meets once a week for a half an hour. Not a lot of time to learn in, but we're not exactly training for the Special Olympics, either. We don't have a pool, so there is no imminent danger. And yet, anyone who has swam a lap or two has experienced the heart pounding workout that is swimming. A perfect form of exercise for a little one who struggles to gain strength.<br />
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When I first called the swim school, I explained that my child has learning delays and is smaller than his typical peers. The response was met without a beat, "Okay, well let's have him try a class and if it doesn't work, we can discuss privates." Okay. Good plan. Elijah amazed me in that first class: He blew bubbles in the water when asked, waited his turn and tried kicking those little legs of his! So far, he's been through a few teachers due to scheduling, but he ended up in a younger, male teacher's class once everything shook down. There were 3 other typically developing kids in the class in the same age range, but the teacher was very timid. He had trouble laying down the rules. My kid--well, actually, both of my kids, sense weakness and spring. It becomes a free-for-all of behavior. An, "I can do whatever I want and the teacher won't do anything about it" buffet. But, I have a problem with that. So, I switched his class. To a more experienced, beefy, male teacher who never smiles.<br />
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What I've experienced since Elijah began this swim class, is something I've seen again and again, and yet it continues to surprise me. What I've experienced, is watching how my son's exuberance for life, his complete joy at attempting a new task, his giant smile that lights up more than just his face, begins to rub off on the people around him. The unsmiling swim instructor has clearly fallen for my kid. He gets him out of the pool last, and...maybe I'm projecting...but it seems as though he relishes Elijah's hug until he places him, smiling & safely, onto the pool's edge.<br />
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There is out and out laughter from the line of parents perched in the chairs, eyes glued to their own children, and yet, Elijah seems to steal the spotlight more than any other. His turn comes up and the instructor extends his hand and tells him to put his arms up and go....Elijah looks intently at the instructor, no one sure that he's actually going to follow directions and then, with a glee unlike I've ever seen before, throws his arms into the air with a belly laugh and jumps wholeheartedly right toward the instructor. Laughter erupts from the row of parents. It's true. It's contagious.<br />
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Today, I couldn't stop smiling. I laughed with the other parents, because our kids are so, so adorable in their swim class, and I couldn't help but be proud of my little guy. I think he's actually learning to swim. It doesn't look graceful, but he's under water, holding his breath and moving. I'm proud that he's the kid that makes everyone smile- even the beefy, unsmiling swim instructor types. At the end of class when I came to the side of the pool to get Elijah, the instructor turned to me and said, "That's one fun kid."<br />
I know...it's completely Contagious.Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-2510558135512360792014-05-21T21:25:00.000-07:002014-05-21T21:25:10.327-07:00Clearing the DustI stumbled upon my own blog today. Meaning, I was accidentally directed to it, and I realized how long it's been since I've visited this space. I miss it. I've had to put a bit of a backseat to my blogging for awhile, but since I ended up here, I might as well clear away a little of the dust.<br />
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Since it's a bit dusty in here, I don't think I'll be able to escape the "Christmas Letter" format, where I'll bore you with the highlights of my family's life for the past 3 months. I'll try to make it short and sweet:<br />
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March: My hubby had a landmark birthday, celebrated with friends and family. We had an amazing time, but zero pictures thanks to our choice of a nice, dark pub-style environment.<br />
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April: My littlest one turned FOUR! I truly can't believe it. He's come so far. From 3 to 4: He began walking, then running, dancing and attempting to jump/learn some WWF moves. He started trying to talk! Most of what he says are really more "word approximations" but he's using them and people are understanding. He says book, up, yeah, quack quack, knock knock, light, George (the dog), school, Hi, Bye, Go, Wow, Uh-oh, car, milk, cookie, cracker, apple, Dad, Daddy....and Bob. Guess what? I. am. Bob. He's very cheeky about it too. He signs and says, "Dad" very clearly, then signs Mom and says, "Bob." Very clearly. Then laughs. Why do I gotta be Bob???!!!! ;) My favorite thing in the world is that he will climb up on my lap, get very close to my face and whisper, "Hi...Bob...." But, the "Bob" part is said with utter adoration. So...I'm Bob. I own it.<br />
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May: My Big Boy turned SEVEN. He makes my head spin- in both the most positive and sometimes even the most frustrating of ways. This little dude keeps me on my toes: He's been excelling at math, zombie tag, talking, talking, and more talking, arguing, visiting his Principal at school and LEGOS!! So, we threw him a Lego party for his birthday, thereby making him-literally-"one of the happiest kids on earth."<br />
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I feel, on a daily basis, something between being a complete success and an utter failure at this thing called "Parenting"- depending on which minute of the day you might ask. I recently had a bit of a tear-session with a girlfriend. We talked through and started coming to terms with the fact that there just is no getting this thing called Parenting, "right". It's up and down and it's unpredictable. You can't succeed at it the same way as you can at a job or a project or a friendship. It's messier and it's more complicated...but, ultimately, there is no greater sense of satisfaction, either. It's a complicated thing to have your heart and soul wrapped up and ready to protect/love/snuggle/strangle/defend/teach these teeny tiny little human beings called children. Tomorrow, I have to don my Mama Bear armour again. I just received a copy of Elijah's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) today. It ALMOST has everything on it that he needs to be successful in school, but not quite. So, I don the armour and prepare for battle.<br />
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The Mama Bear armour got a little dusty too, because we had a nice stretch of cooperation from the school district for awhile. I think it's time they re-acquaint themselves with....Bob.<br />
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-30183044758093045402014-02-11T00:09:00.002-08:002014-02-11T00:09:37.857-08:00The Season...My blog was left in the dust. It's not that I don't want to write anymore, or that I'm getting lazy. It's that I had to take a look at my "pie". You know...the balance pie chart- the pieces that go to work, and friends, and family, and hobbies, and health. I was listening to a famous person (don't ask me who, because those details never seem to have room in my puny brain these days) on the radio. And this super-famous person said, "You can't have all of the pieces of the pie if you want to be successful." So, I thought about that for a minute. I pride myself on making time for my friends and staying fit and eating healthfully and spending quality time with my kids and running my business and doing my jobs. Then, I did a double take. Yeah, I have a lot of "balance", but the bills just aren't getting paid. And I LOVE my business. I want it to grow and succeed...I always have. So, I realized I have to buckle down and Make Room. So...sadly, my writing..the thing that makes me feel whole and rebooted and re-energized, has to take a backseat for just a little while. I just need to re-focus, and I have been. But, I have missed this space. And while it may not be as often, or as lengthy or as pretty, I want to find a little time for it. Then, when Operation Get the Heck out of this Financial Mess We're In, starts to subside I'll find more time...<br />
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I can't catch up on it all right now, but things are good. My business is actually starting to really take off (fingers crossed, prayers logged) and my boys are in a groove. The long and short of it is that Christian would rather never go to school and Elijah would rather always be at school. At least I got one of each. Christian struggles with wanting to read, though math comes easily for him. Elijah struggles with actual spoken words and speech, though is a GREAT listener and follows directions quite well. Christian would like to physically move into The Lego Movie if that were possible, while Elijah would dance non-stop if you gave him a scarf to wave around like a crazy person and a good techno beat. Charles and I spend our time laughing at our kids antics and alternately, banging our heads at what seem to be unsolvable problems. Elijah figured out how to crawl out of the crib, and after 1 day of "Sleep training" learned easily that he stills has to climb into and stay asleep in his big boy bed despite his visions of Freedom Grandeur. Christian figured out how to use his homework assignments to complain about why he dislikes school, despite the fact that he actually does seem to have a decent time there. Plus, he is in Karate classes learning how to "become a Ninja." (Which I fully support.) We are hopeful that one day, he may not have to do 100 extra push ups in class because he is too busy goofing off to become an actual Ninja...<br />
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I'm on an incredible high/stress attack with my business- On one side, I have Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese sitting in front of my centerpieces at an award ceremony and on the other side I have a plane that is delayed with the 6000 roses I'm supposed to be arranging, like...NOW...for a CBS show. Though, I'll admit- this is the good kind of stress. I'll take it. Wedged somewhere in there is the Mommy who wants my kids to show up to school on Friday with cute Valentine's Day cards.. Hopefully, it won't be another 3 months before I can write again, and hopefully this post actually makes sense...It's just "The Season". You know?<br />
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P.S. If you want to put my ramblings about "my business" and "centerpieces" and "DiCaprio & Scorsese" into perspective (shameless plug), check out my new website at <a href="http://www.soireela.com/">www.SoireeLA.com</a>
Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-25437000499544226682013-11-13T23:46:00.000-08:002013-11-13T23:46:52.918-08:00Finding the "Me" in "Me and My Boys"I've been re-prioritizing. I took that list of resolutions I had loftily set for myself this year and I crumpled it up and had a serious talk with myself: What is the reality, and what is the goal? Because amidst those goals- even the fully re-prioritized ones, there is LIFE. I don't even just mean the day to day "stuff"...although that is plenty in, and of, itself. I mean the LIFE that throws the curve balls. It could be the $2000 furnace that dies on the coldest day of the year or a car accident that stops you in your tracks and reminds you to say 'I love you' every. single. moment you can. I'm deep into what I need to be focusing on and riding the wave of LIFE all at the same time.<br />
<br />
When I was 23, I was all about self reflection. I wanted to be a better person. I needed to be a better person. And I was hell bent on finding out <b><i>who I am?</i></b> and going from there. I can honestly say that I'm grateful and glad that those were my early years...because there sure isn't time to do that stuff as a Mom of two, with a business and a job and a kid (and sometimes even kidS) that need somewhere between a little and a lot of extra help.However, I'm back in a season of seeing myself and what I'm willing to live with and what I wouldn't be able to stand letting "be".<br />
<br />
I'm a strong personality. I have "opinions" about almost everything, and even some that I've caught myself weighing in on, which I really have no knowledge or business weighing in on...I've become aware of it and have realized that I'm not okay with that status quo. So, I'm trying to take that breath, wait that moment, or not share "how I feel about it" each and every time. I'm a work in progress. It's humbling.<br />
<br />
There is "stuff" going on right now, and I've put off writing a lot this last month because it was going to be the Mother-of-all-posts otherwise, and frankly, that goes against my instinct to talk less and listen more. So for now, I'm leaving it short and sweet: I want to be more than I am, for me- for my family- for my friends, but it's not an overnight process. In between my "me work", there is LIFE. Basically, I'm struggling with accepting my shortcomings and then defying them all at the same time.<br />
<br />
I can't end this post without just a quick Halloween photo. My firstborn is and always has been the brain behind any family costume idea we have. This year, he wanted to be a Police Officer. This surprised me, but then I got the real scoop: "A Police Officer has a walkie talkie!" (Cue the relief that he didn't say "gun") When I asked what his younger brother should be, he replied without a beat. "Elijah should be the bad guy." So, here it is. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/98310134@N07/10850291986/" title="IMG_4642 by jennifercurrier1, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_4642" height="500" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2853/10850291986_68457fb92b.jpg" width="333" /></a>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I went as an FBI agent, which now seems especially appropriate. More life investigating to do.<br />
To be continued...Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-19267857882118261872013-09-14T23:20:00.002-07:002013-09-14T23:28:15.370-07:00Rest and ReflectionI wrote a lot in August. There was a lot going on and I needed my space to vent it all out. Life has moved on, as it does and some of those past situations have had resolutions, and some are just... marinating. Quick update: My last post (<a href="http://meandmyboysblog.blogspot.com/2013/08/dear-teacher.html" target="_blank">Dear Teacher</a>) felt necessary to write. We'd had a nightmare of a time at the first preschool that Elijah was placed in, and I was armed for Mama Bear protection at the new school. Let's just say that Elijah's teacher did not appreciate my letter as much as many of you did. She asked to have a word with me and started with, "Just so you know, I stress out easily." I said, "Oh....I'm sorry to hear that." (Wasn't really sure what to say to that one, but was actually kind of appreciative that she mentioned it. Good info to know.) The she said, "I need to ask you not to undermine my knowledge." (?) She continued, "I read your letter." I said, "Oh! Absolutely. I'm sorry that it seemed like that is what I was doing, because it certainly wasn't my intention. I assume you are in your position for a reason." She seemed to visibly relax and we moved on to new topics. I thought long and hard about what she could mean by her statement. I suspect that my short sentence about what Down syndrome is could be taken as condescending. After all, she is a preschool teacher for a special needs class. She's been well educated in Down syndrome, right? Well...that's where I see a gray area. What a special ed teacher sees as ample education in a specific area seems downright lacking to a parent who lives it every single day of their life. Has large communities of people and friends who live it every single day of their lives. Then add a dash of super-ignorant comments by people in fields that are "supposed" to be knowledgeable about Down syndrome and it equals one cynical Momma, who feels it's necessary for a quick re-explanation. Just in case.<br />
<br />
The teacher seems to have come around, and I have relaxed a little. Elijah is loving school! A friend of mine who is a teacher AND has a daughter with Down syndrome said (after I told her the teacher's response to my letter), "She'll never tell you, but I guarantee you taught her something." I do hope that is true, as my intentions were definitely not to attack her, but to have her understand my son a lot better. Charles and I laughed about the situation a little later, because I KNOW that I am intimidating. I don't try to be, but I have a strong personality that can be as much an asset as it is a defect. I can giggle about it because I know I'm a work in progress.<br />
<br />
Christian is settling well into <a href="http://meandmyboysblog.blogspot.com/2013/08/first-grade.html" target="_blank">First Grade</a>. The first week he lost his lunchbox every. single. day. of. the. week. However, come week 2 he was into the swing of things and hasn't lost it since. I hope I'm not "jinxing" myself by putting that out there!! His last words on the subject of first grade were, "I'm doing like WOW in first grade, Mom!!" It seems we don't have to worry about his self confidence much.<br />
<br />
Recently, a close friend of mine called to tell me they are expecting a baby girl who has been diagnosed prenatally with Down syndrome. I wrote about it <a href="http://meandmyboysblog.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-love-you-purplest.html" target="_blank">here</a>. I found myself on a rollercoaster of emotions in the few days following my talk with her. We were texting back and forth and she was going through the natural process of dealing with that kind of diagnosis- wondering if they should consider adoption, etc. My stomach was in a pit because I know that there are joys to come for my friends if they just settle into what is, but I also knew I had to let her get there on her own. I thought at first that if I could tell her everything I wish I would have heard, that she would be able to instantly turn it around and see it for the blessing in disguise that it is. But, I also know from personal experience that it just doesn't work that way. She and her husband ARE coming around, but they need the time to do that. It's a process. One of last messages I got from her was a Birthday greeting, "Happy Birthday from a Momma who is starting to feel excited again." Best Birthday present this year. Hands down.<br />
<br />
On the subject of Birthdays, I did have yet another one this year. I am now officially Forty two. The number 42 gained
some popularity as the "Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the
Universe and Everything" from the Comic Science Fiction series <i>The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy</i>. My brother told me that "42" was the answer to that ultimate question in the first novel. So, I Wikipedia'd it. (Wikipedia'd- <i>Jen Slang</i>;
verb; To check what Wikipedia says about the topic when accuracy isn't
all that important and you just need the gist of it.) Wikipedia told me
that, in fact, the author just made up the number at random, because he
needed an ordinary, mundane number. Yes, 42 doesn't
have the shiny, new-decade appeal that 40 did, or the youth and
freshness that 22 did (Plus, 22 is my favorite random number. I often
say things like, "I told him about 22 times!" Which is totally
ridiculous. I would never, nor could ever say something 22 times...at
least not in a row. That would drive me crazy before I got there. But, I
digress...)<br />
<br />
My birthday celebration this year was indeed just a little ordinary and mundane: a combination of feeling taxed out as Mother with little time to myself, a little birthday dinner ruined by a grumpy old man at a neighboring table, and a dash of family drama. I left the scene with the understanding that my kudos this year were going to be in the form of inner peace due to an additional year on the planet. I've learned more. Pushed myself harder. Plus, I have a new year to look forward to, and I plan to make 42 the year of my own, personal answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. Bring it on.<br />
<br />
Then, there was THIS:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707756770/" title="IMG_4032 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_4032" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3745/9707756770_0cbda69fc7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
We got away as a weekend together with my parents and about 200 other people. It was a weekend called "<a href="http://www.ourownfamilycamp.com/" target="_blank">Our Own Family Camp</a>" put together by and for Families who have a child with Down syndrome. The lodgings were cozy (cabins with electricity!), meals were served (3, full square meals a day!) and there were a ton of activities to choose from. I unplugged for the weekend and just breathed in the fresher, cooler air.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707755746/" title="IMG_4042 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_4042" height="427" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2860/9707755746_7fbc207d74_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
We canoed...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707762172/" title="IMG_3896 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3896" height="427" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2818/9707762172_b79896511c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Managed mischief...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707761438/" title="IMG_3915 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3915" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7367/9707761438_941eb1b370_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Enjoyed bunk beds (Well... Christian enjoyed bunk beds, the rest of us had a hard time remembering what the appeal was...)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9704528323/" title="IMG_3893 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3893" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5473/9704528323_68a040b240_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Took in the views and cherished the wide, open spaces...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707759240/" title="IMG_3980 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3980" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5501/9707759240_3f613ac335_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Tried our hand at something new... (Not Charles. He enjoyed being "Not New" at this particular skill. :)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707753790/" title="Our Own Family Camp 2013 Collage1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Our Own Family Camp 2013 Collage1" height="474" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7451/9707753790_5cbcde77e6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Smiled from ear to ear watching our youngest take interest in just about everything camp had to offer...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9704524533/" title="IMG_3950 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3950" height="419" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3791/9704524533_8d7b2a1af4_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Had moments of solitude...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9704525129/" title="IMG_3943 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3943" height="402" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2855/9704525129_0cbbc1383e_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
And joy...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9704522735/" title="IMG_4003 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_4003" height="393" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3670/9704522735_08f51c728c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
And learned to kick everyone's butts at Foosball. Actually, just Christian. I am perfectly comfortable with being unable to kick anyone's butt at Foosball. Now, Scrabble on the other hand? At that, I am not shabby. My favorite memory from camp might have been those quiet nights after the boys were asleep. My parents and I sat out on our patio with a smuggled-in bottle of wine (Yes. We totally got caught. I ALWAYS do. This is why I usually don't do "bad" things...) and played Scrabble. As Charles likes to say, 'I have an uncanny knack for managing 56 point words out of 4 letters.' Listen- it's all about the points and less about the fancy words, babe. <br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9707815662/" title="Our Own Family Camp 2013 Collage2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Our Own Family Camp 2013 Collage2" height="458" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3691/9707815662_d8dc8bdcb8_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
We completed the camp experience with traditional campfires, skits and smores. I participated in an audience participation skit, to rave reviews from my 6 year old. Apparently, Mom getting up and making a fool of herself goes over BIG with these kids...<br />
<br />
It was rest with some reflection and exactly the kind of family get-away we needed. We came back and I finally had the feeling that I'd been chasing for the last few weeks: the feeling of being re-energized and ready to go for the new school year. Plus we haven't had any lost lunch boxes since our trip, so it looks like I wasn't the only one who needed a getaway to rest and reflect...Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-80896451157709561272013-08-27T21:03:00.000-07:002013-08-27T21:03:04.808-07:00Dear TeacherElijah started preschool today. We had a truly nightmare experience at the first school he was placed at, where I found myself constantly wondering if there was a hidden camera and I was being "Punked" somehow. So, Mama Bear roared to life and I got my baby bear a new school, with a better suited program. The school itself is a stark contrast to the school he was originally placed at. Here, the office staff is lovely, the Assistant Principal invited me into his office to discuss what would be best for Elijah, and the therapists who will be providing his services, actually called me to tell me when they will be seeing him!<br />
<br />
However, today didn't feel great. The teacher that I met on the tour last year is gone, and along with her, the program I thought was so well suited for Elijah. The teacher who has taken her place is young and green, but full of energy and creativity. I'm not totally ready to write her off, but I am very disappointed in two things: 1) I don't agree with the program. It doesn't feel developmentally appropriate to me, and there is no time in the classroom to be working on his Imaginative play skills, which is something he is lacking and I know would improve with peer modeling. 2) She is already underestimating my child. Sigh.<br />
<br />
I received a packet of information and most of it is about trying to get to know my child better. At the bottom of one of the sheets, it says, "Please tell me, in one million words or less, if there is anything else I should know about your child. Feel free to brag! Use the back (of this page) if you need to." So, I thought I'd take her up on it.<br />
<br />
In well less than one million words, here's my version of "Dear Teacher":<br />
<br />
My child is frequently under-estimated. Elijah doesn't yet have words to communicate what he knows, and because of this many people assume he does not understand. That is inaccurate- he knows much more than he lets onto at first. Today, after school, you asked if we had considered placing him in the Preschool Intense class environment (for moderate to severely disabled children). This shows me that already-on his very first day of school- you have underestimated his abilities.<br />
<br />
My son, Elijah, has Down syndrome. I don't expect you to be an expert on every special need that exists in your classroom, but because of my son's diagnosis, I have become an expert on <b><i>him</i></b>. Let me tell you a little about what this means: Down syndrome is a mild to moderate cognitive delay brought on by the presence of an extra 21st chromosome in each of Elijah's cells. The extra genetic material causes a few other things that add challenges to his abilities- things like delayed speech and gross motor skills. Despite the extra challenges that Elijah faces, he is motivated to learn and explore, and he slowly, but surely, is conquering each of these hurdles. He needs some modifications for learning, but mostly, he just needs people who believe in him.<br />
<br />
Elijah has a great sense of humor, seems intuitive to others' feelings, is affectionate, bright, and adores his older brother. He has an almost Superpower ability to make people fall madly in love with him. He also learns things a little more slowly, but this pace makes our family slow down and take a deep breath more often than we would have before. He's taught me not to ever take for granted what comes easily to me, and shown me that persistence and perseverance done with a smile, conquers almost all. I sometimes wonder if he will teach me more than I'll ever have the chance to teach him.<br />
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I look forward to partnering with you in Elijah's education. I realize that I can come across pretty tough at times, but I just want my son to be seen and accepted for who he is and not seen for just his diagnosis. I want him to have opportunities equal to other children his age, and I want him to learn the skills he needs to accomplish his future dreams. I want what every parent wants. <br />
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For now, I am his voice.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9612703202/" title="First Day of First Grade1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="First Day of First Grade1" height="477" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2855/9612703202_0faffdf611_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-58848060808476161912013-08-25T09:43:00.000-07:002013-08-25T09:43:59.847-07:00First GradeFirst Grade. It sounds so...Big. Christian started first grade last Monday and so far, so good (Unlike last year when "<a href="http://www.meandmyboysblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-four.html" target="_blank">Day Four</a>" happened.) Here are some of Christian's statements from the first week of first grade:<br />
<br />
Monday: The day is longer and there is no free choice. :( (Independent play in the classroom.) I got a stamp for good behavior! I lost my lunch box. <br />
<br />
Tuesday: We had art today and we worked on drawing our faces. I'm not finished with mine yet. I got a stamp for good behavior! Mom, I'm so, so sorry, but I lost my lunch box.<br />
<br />
Wednesday: We got to go to the library today and check out a book!!!! I got a Lego Star Wars book!! I got a stamp for good behavior and you are going to be so happy- I remembered my lunch box today! (Me: Where's your water bottle? Him: Oh.)<br />
<br />
Thursday: Guess what?! We got to do some Free Choice today and I got another stamp! I lost my lunch box. Again. I'm really so sorry.<br />
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Friday: I lost my backpack. It's just GONE! (It wasn't gone.)<br />
<br />
Sooooo....short of the fact that I'm going to have to staple his lunch box to his body next week, I think things went pretty well. And the good news is that when you lose your lunch box on the very first day of school, there is NOTHING ELSE at the Lost and Found. Nothing. Except your son's lunch box, placed lovingly in front the empty coat rack. With his name on the front. Yes, everyone: Only this Christian kid with the Flames Lunch Box has needed to use the Lost and Found this week.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9592352076/" title="First Day of First Grade Collage by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="First Day of First Grade Collage" height="469" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7402/9592352076_cd302e30b6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<i>My handsome First Grader, who gets bigger everyday, but still wants his pet "Leo" in the picture.</i><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9589555003/" title="IMG_3847 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3847" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7301/9589555003_7f03489cda_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<i>Christian and one of his friends from school- they were so happy to see each other, even though they aren't in the same class this year.</i>Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-41677236763401255972013-08-23T00:11:00.001-07:002013-08-23T00:11:51.379-07:00I Love You The PurplestWell, NOW I can't sleep. I'm filled with a mixture of emotions, but strangely...excitement (?!?) is one of them. That doesn't sound crazy just yet because I haven't told you why.<br />
<br />
Tonight, I got a private message from a friend I haven't seen in awhile asking if I could talk. My instinct flashers started going off. I think I know what she might say. Then it came, <i>This might sound weird, but do you have a child with Down syndrome?</i> Chills. Then the real news, <i>We just found out our baby has Down syndrome.</i> I insisted on talking on the phone. I wanted, no <b>needed</b>, her to hear my voice on this one. And I couldn't wait to say it:<br />
<br />
It is going to be okay. I promise.<br />
<br />
My friend and her husband are in the midst of the heartbreak of the loss of expectations. I know this heartbreak well, because I lived through it too. The lack of understanding of what it all really means- for the baby? For a sibling? For us as a couple? For us individually? It is completely overwhelming. No parent ever wants their child to have to face greater challenges. But, this is what I told my friend: <i>Nothing in this world has taught me more or brought me more joy than having my whole world turned upside down by having Elijah.</i> I'm not saying I love him more than Christian- because I don't. What I understand, and every Mother of more than one child understands, is that you love each child a little differently. Christian keeps me on my toes- I have to be super consistent with him or he will take advantage. He's strong willed, smart, creative, independent and active. Elijah keeps life in perspective for me- things don't come easily for him, but he manages to handle it with grace- sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a complete melt down. He's funny, intuitive to others' feelings, affectionate, bright, and has the superpower gift of making everyone around him fall in love with him.<br />
<br />
I love each of my boys differently, yet equally. It reminds me of a beautiful children's book that a friend gave me. In the book, one boy asks his Mom if she loves him best? And she responds that she loves him like the crackle of a blazing fire, like a horse dashing through the tall grass, like a sunrise just breaking the horizon--Like the color red. To her other son, she says that she loves him like the calm of the low tide ocean, like a song as it softens before a swell, like the sunset as it fades from the sky--Like the color blue.<br />
The author never says it, except for in the title, but the beauty is in the color that is made from her loving them both. The mixing of the red and the blue. The purple. I Love You the Purplest.<br />
<br />
I know my friend is grieving a loss- because she is not getting the baby she expected, but I'm strangely feeling a little excited for them. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to put it into words perfectly, but to say that it's not the sum of the things that Doctors say it is, and it's not the sum of things Google says it is, it's the unexpected...and along with that comes a whole new world. Sure, there are times where I'd like to chuck "this whole new world" out the F'ing window. But, most of the time, I'm blessed by the people who came into my life as a result of having Elijah. I'm grateful for the times where I'm required to slow down, because he just doesn't go that fast...where in slowing down, I also smell the flowers and notice the birds and take an extra deep breath.<br />
<br />
I talked to my friend on the phone for a long time, and I hope I gave her some comfort. I hope I gave her a sense of balance- because the medical profession, and the text books and the internet searches don't give the balance of the whole picture. To those of us who live this everyday, we know that the whole picture is still a <i>Family</i>- with ups and downs and wins and losses. It's not what the ignorant or uneducated ones think and it's not what the intellects and highly educated ones think. It's just different. Like purple.<br />
<br />
At some point, there was just red, blue and yellow. But then someone found that when they mixed the colors together, they got something different- yet equally beautiful. Maybe that's why I'm excited for my friend. Because she's getting something equally beautiful, just different. <br />
<br />
Different doesn't mean better or worse. It means unlike what you had before. So, to my sweet, but scared friend, I want to say again: Try not to worry too much. It is going to be okay. I promise.<br />
<br />
You will love her the purplest.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-1253743172472957802013-08-11T22:06:00.000-07:002013-08-11T22:06:55.429-07:00The WhooshI have a kid with Down syndrome. So what? Everyone who is in my life knows that by now, and by being around us they know what that really means. Which, frankly, isn't a whole lot. It means he's doing things more slowly, can't communicate as well as other kids his age, yada yada. This post isn't about that.<br />
<br />
When I'm in adult social situations, around people I've never met before, having a kid with Down syndrome becomes more complicated. It's complicated because most people know nothing about Down syndrome and what they think they know is usually extremely outdated or just plain, wrong. So, I usually don't mention my youngest son's diagnosis when I'm out and about in these new people situations. Let me be clear, I am NOT embarrassed about it. I just can't stand the feeling of all of the air being sucked out of the room with a giant "Whoosh" when it does get mentioned. Then, I have to quickly assure them that I wasn't given a prison sentence with my child and that there are many things about it that are positive (being faced with my own ego, taking life a little slower, celebrating the milestones more, gaining perspective, etc.) But, it's really annoying to have to do this and most of the time I just want to have a cocktail and enjoy the adult conversation.<br />
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I was recently out with a group of Moms for a Girls Night Out at a restaurant. These Moms and I all have one thing in common: We all have a child with Down syndrome. The waiter was coming back and forth bringing us things and engaging in flirty, clever quips with us. Once we all arrived, he asked if we were celebrating something special. A few responded that No, we were just out to get away from the kids. Then one friend says, "Well, actually"... and I tensed up. Here it comes. "We all have a child with Down syndrome!" Whoosh!! And there goes the air. He covered well, but he didn't respond with the same jovial nature he had responded on all previous exchanges.<br />
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There are times when I'm out in a new social situation where the conversation is long enough, relevant enough or deep enough that it warrants me sharing a little more about my life. But, I always hate that first moment- the moment before they realize that it's all good. I was at a friend's birthday party, and was having a fun and fascinating conversation, wine glass in hand, with a group of people- a mix of a couple friends and a couple of people new to me. The conversation turned to kids and parenting. The way the conversation was going, I was either going to have to change the subject or mention my son's diagnosis, so I said something along the lines of, "My youngest son is 3 and just started walking. He has Down syndrome, so it has taken him a little longer to "get there". The guy I was talking to, immediately lost his smile and shifted to his serious face. One of my friends quickly saved the moment by saying, "Jen has a great blog where she writes about her experiences with her kids." Up walks a woman I don't know, who hears the tail end of this statement, and she practically shouts, "You're a MOMMY BLOGGER??!!"<br />
Me: Umm...yeah, I guess so.<br />
Her: I LOVE MOMMY BLOGS!!<br />
My friend: (introducing us) So-and-so this is Jen<br />
Her: OMG!! You're Jen?? Of "<a href="http://jenslist.com/" target="_blank">Jen's List</a>"????!!!!<br />
Me. No!! Oh God NO. I mean...I've gotta hand it to Jen of Jen's list, but that is definitely not me. No, I just write about....my kids.<br />
I decide that there is no way I'm bringing up the meat of what I write about in my blog. Based on how loud and how enthusiastic she was, I didn't see THAT conversation going in any direction that would have been good for me.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder if I like the mystery. Like I've got a good "secret" to share- something that's just a little bit different from everyone else. Almost everyone has a story. And like every good story, it takes time to unfold. I have friends who tragically lost their spouses, friends whose parents were taken from them at a young age, and even recently learned that a friend ended up in a cult called the Folkolare because she didn't have enough extra curricular activities. These are things you just don't blurt out upon first meeting someone. Because if you do, you will be met with the Whoosh of air leaving the room. And those of us who have "stories"? We don't really want to have to do damage control over the perception of our lives.<br />
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So, what should you start off with in a conversation with someone new? I think I'll try opening with this one, "One time, I accidentally asked a woman if she was drag queen."<br />
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Now, "the Whoosh" that accompanies <b><i>that</i></b> is a fun one to explain away...Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-69123017511704210612013-08-09T21:51:00.000-07:002013-08-09T21:51:06.680-07:00Yeah. Yeah.I procrastinate when I get overwhelmed. The school year is beginning to loom large in front of me and it's time to face it head on. I finally, finally (after many weeks of procrastination) filed all of the necessary paperwork to begin Due Process with Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD). I'm filing to get a one on one aide for Elijah. My main reasoning for needing an aide was that he wasn't walking yet. Well, homeboy is well on his way to making me look like a big, fat liar. Unfortunately (for LAUSD), he still is going to need an aide- at least for this school year. Elijah is getting stronger and more motivated to walk each day, and yet it's a new skill. He still sits after about every 10-20 feet- just for a second or two and then gets back up and carries on. But, he's going to need that extra support. Not to mention needing someone to keep an eye on the hair pulling behavior he has. However, thanks to my <strike>awesomeness</strike> rather unusual discipline methods, I'm beginning to think he is understanding that hair pulling is NO BUENO!! He hasn't pulled anyone's hair recently, including his favorite victim- Christian. Don't get me wrong, he still gets the "look in his eyes" when I can tell he might go for the pull. So, I verbally give a warning, "Gentle, Elijah!" I think he gets it. Tonight, Christian was reading Elijah and I a book before bed and Elijah started getting "the look". I said, "You need to be gentle, Elijah." And he looked at me, reached up, took a little bit of his hair and did a little tug-tug. Ummm...yep. The boy gets it. I'm not holding my breath yet, but it would be AMAZING if I didn't have to worry that he'd be making all the girls cry at preschool.<br />
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Elijah is also starting to show me that there is a LOT he understands. While Christian was reading tonight, he would describe certain pictures from the pages to Elijah. Christian would say, <i>Look, Elijah! See how the cat spilled the milk? It went Smack! Splat!</i> Elijah looked Christian right in the face, intently and nodded his head and said slowly, "Yeah. Yeah." They did this together a few times- Christian pointing out certain pictures and Elijah agreeing with a "Yeah. Yeah." It seemed so clear and smart- as if he totally gets us and everything we say and do, but he's stuck with just a few almost-words and some signing to communicate his understanding.<br />
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I taught Elijah the sign (language) for "Apple" a few weeks ago and it was one he picked up and began using regularly, as if <i>Oh Thank you! I've been DYING to ask for an apple and just didn't know how to tell you! </i>He uses it- a LOT. He uses it so much that I began to get suspicious if he actually knew what it meant. Yes, he would sign for apple while eating meals and when I would bring him an apple or applesauce, he would smile and get excited. But, he said it so often that I was suspicious- I just didn't know if he really liked apples THAT much. Tonight, in the middle of cooking dinner, I realized I was missing a main ingredient and had to walk with the boys down to the corner market to grab what we needed. While there, Christian asked if I could buy some apples too (and Cheetos and popsicles and one of those airplane spinner candy holders.) I granted his apple request and when we got to the register, I put the apples on the belt. I leaned down to get the next item out of the cart and Elijah signed "Apple".<br />
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Yeah.<br />
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Yeah.<br />
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Maybe I shouldn't sound amazed. I know my kid and I know he's brighter than most people will likely give him credit for, but sometimes he's even brighter than I give him credit for. Elijah has a handful of word approximations now (words that start with the sound or are close to sounding like the actual word), but only one real, clear word: "Yeah". He's been saying it for over a year now. He's never used it when he clearly means no. He answers appropriately every time. And yet, he answers Yeah to so many things that I couldn't imagine that he understands them all. But...maybe he does. He amazes me. He really does. He's just plugging along in this life, doing his thing. It's at a slower rate than most everyone else, but he really seems to be doing it all anyway: Answering questions (as long as it's Yeah or No), following directions, trying to dress himself, feed himself, take out and put away his own toys. He sees cool things his brother or other kids do and he wants to try them. He's just my teeny, tiny little trooper, under dog and I couldn't be more impressed with him if I tried.<br />
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This picture is one I stare at over and over. We were having a moment together and he got up from sitting next to me, grabbed his shoes, pulled himself up onto a chair and attempted to put his shoes on. (He doesn't have the fine motor skills to get the shoes on yet, but he wants to be able to do it!) I grabbed my phone and snapped. I'll admit that I sometimes look at this picture when he's sleeping and make little pinchy fingers at the picture like I'm smooshing his cute, little face. <br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9468431681/" title="944766_10153054136580570_2115790897_n by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="944766_10153054136580570_2115790897_n" height="612" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7349/9468431681_6b48a4e177_z.jpg" width="612" /></a><br />
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My boys are in a phase where they are astounding me at every turn- from my firstborn using big, actual vocabulary-worthy words in a sentence to my little one nodding his head in agreement. Yeah. Yeah. I want to freeze time for just a moment and breathe this in. (Deep breath.)<br />
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Yeah.Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-10966193749980709952013-08-05T12:13:00.001-07:002013-08-05T12:13:23.960-07:00Vacation TherapyWe took an actual vacation.We traveled across the country with 2 sleepy boys at 4:00 in the morning and landed in Philadelphia around 2:30pm EST. We hopped into our rented Prius and took off for the shore, where Charles' family had rented a beach house in the quaint shore town of Sea Isle City. And this was the view from our backyard:<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445632762/" title="IMG_3428 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3428" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5547/9445632762_54dbfbbf86_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Collective sigh of contentment.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445779844/" title="Currier Summer1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Currier Summer1" height="465" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5481/9445779844_f110ba06d9_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The boys easily adapted to their new surroundings and even the time change. We sat out on the back porch drinking in the amazing view, took neighborhood walks in the wagon, Christian tried his hand at fishing with his cousin Kyle, we kayaked amongst the mud flats and tall grasses, bird watched as giant herons landed 50 feet from where we were sitting, but mostly we just enjoyed each other. It was a much, much needed break from our everyday life!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442841119/" title="IMG_3579 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3579" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5325/9442841119_d8962d9bfb_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442981609/" title="IMG_3551 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3551" height="427" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2839/9442981609_0a9283171d_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442980943/" title="IMG_3563 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3563" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7442/9442980943_03a3fef05c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442979063/" title="IMG_3618 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3618" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5340/9442979063_e79e2a547f_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442990465/" title="Currier Summer2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Currier Summer2" height="458" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3747/9442990465_5ae8b6c0ae_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Elijah has had zero therapy in over 3 months. Nothing. No physical, occupational or speech therapy. The school district SUCKS, and it is because of them that he hasn't been getting the services he really needs. And yet...therapy input does not always equal output. It's not solely because he has therapy that he performs a new task. Some of it is sheerly developmental, and some of it is opportunity. Elijah has made huge strides in the last 3 months. Even without the therapy. I've become his PT, OT, ST and all other forms of therapist. But, it's not because I've done such a great job. I just think he was ready. So, on our trip he started mastering a few new things.<br />
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Talk about opportunity. We didn't have a sippy cup that had a straw with it, which is really the only kind of drinking he has mastered. He doesn't seem to quite get that you have to tip a typical sippy cup up to get the water out. Maybe it's too tiring for him? I don't know. However, without our go-to drinking cup, we had to improvise. The beach house happened to have a small child's cup. So, I filled it with water and thought, <i>Why not? Let's give it a try again.</i> He did it! It wasn't perfect and it was a little messy, but he actually managed it. All by himself. I don't think I'd leave him unattended with milk in an open cup, but it's a step in the right direction. Did I mention how proud of himself he was?<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445774434/" title="Currier Summer5 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Currier Summer5" height="419" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7396/9445774434_3952b9253a_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The boys loved their time with Grandma. Christian was open and affectionate with her and was a fan of everything "Grandma's". Elijah quickly warmed to her too, and was happy to curl up on her lap at the beach with a few snacks taking a break from his long walks on the beach (!!)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445895154/" title="Currier Summer4 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Currier Summer4" height="441" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7306/9445895154_903322cf8b_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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We arrived at the beach not long after high tide, so the sand was nicely packed and not difficult to walk on. Elijah took it upon himself to walk along the beach, greeting sunbathers with enthusiastic waves of his arm and blowing kisses like he was some sort of celebrity. He quickly amassed the "Elijah Fan Club" with that action. I tried to get video, but was too busy chasing him myself to get anything quality.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445629534/" title="IMG_3593 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3593" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5335/9445629534_8515424962_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Charles built a sandcastle on the beach with Christian and his cousin
Kyle. And for anyone who has been at the beach with Charles, they know
he doesn't mess around. He comes with a full size shovel and seeks to
create model-scale worthy sand castle construction. I took these photos
prematurely, as ultimately the castle ended up with a 2 foot long
underground tunnel, a master wing with porch, the obligatory moat, and
tiny trees coating the landscape...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442838971/" title="IMG_3604 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3604" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7346/9442838971_692ac67ae5_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445627088/" title="IMG_3607 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3607" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3688/9445627088_0e6586a25f_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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We said goodbye to our lovely Sea Isle home after a few days and headed back to the small town in New Jersey where Charles grew up. We arrived late that night and trying to put Elijah down in an unknown crib in an unfamiliar house did not go well. I have seldom seen him so upset. He calmed immediately when I laid down next to him on the outside of the crib. His sweet face relaxed and smiled around the pacifier still clutched in his mouth. But, the second I got up to go, crying resumed. I said goodnight anyway and walked out to see if he could calm himself. Christian was sharing the room with him, and I could hear him saying, "Elijah it's okay. It's okay, Elijah!!" He said it a couple of times and then miraculously, the crying stopped. Elijah is not the only one making huge developmental strides lately. Christian is too. I found myself welling with tears of pride for the compassionate and helpful kid he's becoming. He's beginning to take care of and play with his brother, not because I ask him to, but because he wants to. <br />
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The following day we met up with our friends Ken and Susan for a little playtime in Franklin Square Park in Philly. Christian played miniature golf with Charles and Ken, while Susan and I watched Elijah navigate the playground. Elijah has one major behavioral issue: He's a hair puller. He's fast and he pulls hard, so I have to stay within arms reach at all times when he's around other kids. (He used to pull adults' hair too, but we finally broke him of that.)<br />
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I've got a new "Stop the Hair-Pulling Technique" going that seems to be working, but it wasn't without a cringe-worthy moment: I had been quickly stopping him and saying (and signing) "NO, Elijah! That HURTS her!" I am careful to make my facial expression very serious. He understands, makes a sad face and wants to hug me, but then the hair pulling will happen again within seconds. I decided I might have to try something new. So, one day not long before we left on this vacation, I was at a play area with a friend and her kids. Elijah reached out to grab my friend's daughter's hair and I grabbed Elijah's hand to pull it away. At the same time, I grabbed a little bit of his hair and pulled while I said NO! Elijah immediately let go and looked at me, shocked. I didn't know how I felt about this, but it was the biggest reaction I have ever gotten out of Elijah and the only thing that has made him willingly let go of the hair. (I've always had to pry his iron grip off the kids hair, apologizing profusely to the innocent child.) So, I thought I might be onto something. Maybe sometimes a simplistic approach is necessary. So, I continue watching him play. Sure enough, I see a little girl get right up into Elijah's space (which might be the trigger for him?), he reaches out, begins to grab and I swoop in and grab his hair. He immediately lets go, before he even got a good pull in and begins crying like a banshee. I look down and in my hand is a CLUMP of his hair. Like a lock of hair. Except more than that. My heart drops to my toes. My brain clicks through all of the reasons a clump would be in my hand...I didn't pull that hard, did I??? Maybe he has some sort of unknown hair disease, where it comes out too easily?? I look around to see if this moment has been fully documented by the other parents who are probably currently writing a blog post about the mean Mom of a child with Special Needs who pulled her kid's hair out at a play area. Great.<br />
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After Elijah calmed down (but I didn't), he went back to playing. We didn't have another hair pulling incident again that day. I told my Mom the story, who assured me that young children's hair comes out very easily and it probably wasn't that I pulled too hard. I decided I needed to try the approach again, but just be very, very, very, very careful. Since then, I have used a very light little tug as a reminder, while I say, <i>Don't pull Elijah. Be gentle! </i>It actually seems to be working. I don't think this is a recommended technique by many, or probably ANY child professionals. But, I'm also feeling the pressure as the school year is approaching. At some point (after we finish battling the school district so that my child can be safe), he is going to be in a preschool classroom, sitting next to other kids. It will not be good or appropriate for him to pull their hair. So, I'm trying this "technique" out. It's risky because there will be people who take serious issue with it, I'm sure. Perhaps they would feel differently if it was their sweet, innocent child who was at the mercy of my child's iron grip of their hair? If this doesn't work, my Mom has had a ton of success using a water bottle to squirt her dogs' unwanted behavior. Perhaps that is next? Ha ha...just kidding...maybe.<br />
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Cut back to Franklin Square Park. We got through an entire park play without a single hair grabbing incident. This is <i>HUGE</i>. Do I dare see the light at the end of the tunnel with this unwanted behavior?? Instead, we watched Elijah walk and bounce and swing and enjoy. <br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9442836695/" title="IMG_3651 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3651" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7454/9442836695_63887362b1_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445776656/" title="Currier Summer3 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Currier Summer3" height="460" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3753/9445776656_d2cdb3cf59_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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We finished the park trip up with a carousel ride and then headed to the loud and busy Redding Terminal for a bite to eat. We love that place and luckily so did my boys. Elijah was too hungry to be happy at first, but once we got him some lunch, he was in great spirits. Christian exclaimed (like he did every. single. day. of this trip) "This is the best day ever!" <br />
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Our trip concluded with what we affectionately call "the porch hang" at Charles' Mom's house. We sat out on the porch during a flash flood storm, with thunder and lightning, and even lightening bugs. To this California girl, it was heaven!!We had to pack up the following day and mentally prepare ourselves for the LONG trip home, but before we left, Elijah decided to show off the improvement he's made in his walking skill. He walked the entire block without help! He would sit for a second or two every 20 feet or so, but then he'd stand right back up and walk some more. Who needs therapy?!<br />
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We set off for our challenging trip home: rental car drop off, shuttle to terminal, THREE airplanes, 2 layovers, red-eye craziness, no dinner, baggage claim, shuttle to the airport parking lot, then the ride home. The boys were troopers, but it was a day I could have easily done without. 12 hours of travel for something that should have taken 6. It's just what we chose to endure to squeeze every last minute we could out of our trip with family. And while we waited on our layovers, Elijah walked among the travelers, waving, blowing kisses and winning hearts. At least there was that.<br />
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Not every minute of our trip was perfect, but it was a wonderful mix of relaxation, exciting milestones, laughs with family, and new opportunities for all of us. Maybe Vacation Therapy is all anyone needs every once in awhile...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9445631692/" title="IMG_3509 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_3509" height="485" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7317/9445631692_3088d75fbb_z.jpg" width="640" /></a> Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-35934031442556369262013-07-15T23:25:00.002-07:002013-07-15T23:25:28.689-07:00Cry. Then move on...Yesterday, Charles and I took the boys to a concert in the park. We had visions of leisurely listening while enjoying our picnic-packed dinner. However, like some days, "leisurely listening" just wasn't in the cards for our boys. Christian insisted on playing at the nearby playground and Elijah was pissed that he was being confined to laps or his stroller, so I walked them both over to play while Charles hung at our picnic spot. The boys both launched themselves into the sandy area and began to explore- Christian making immediate friends with a group of boys willing to play "tag" and Elijah, anxious to conquer the many slides.<br />
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I spent moments appreciating how Elijah didn't mind the sand, didn't melt down about the sensory stuff, but quickly found his way over to one of the 5 slides coming off this play-gym monstrosity. I tried to give him some space and "let him do it on his own", but stayed nearby enough to lend some assistance. I was quickly struck by how he is very much a 3 year old trapped in a body that doesn't cooperate.<br />
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As I stood by the closest slide, which Elijah was thrilled to slide down, I watched him trying to climb back up the steep slope to slide again. He didn't want to go all the way around, climb the stairs and start again. He wanted to do what ALL kids want to do: He wanted to climb up the "down" of the slide and cheat the system. Only...he couldn't do it. He couldn't physically do what it was he wanted to, and he was <i>FRUSTRATED</i>. I gave him a moment, while he struggled and <i>CRIED</i>. I cried too. I want more than anything for him to have those "wins", those moments of feeling capable and independent. But, he's not there yet, even though HE doesn't really want to believe that.<br />
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I watched people stare at me with him. For the first time ever, I didn't care. I thought, <i>Go ahead. Stare at me. I'm not exceptional. I'm not better than you. But, also I'm not burdened. I am a Mother who you know nothing about, with a child who you don't understand. And I am totally okay with that. </i>I genuinely enjoy being around my child and whether anyone else "gets" that or not doesn't even matter. What matters is my family. Plain and simple.<br />
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It was tough though, because it was fully apparent that Elijah knew what he wanted do, but just couldn't make it happen. I helped, but to him that wasn't the same. In so many ways, he's a typical 3 year old, with the "I can do it myself" mentality. Only...sometimes, maybe even many times, he can't yet do it himself. That was hard. That made me cry right along with him.<br />
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<b><i>I wish I could make things easy for you, baby. I wish that everything wasn't 4 times harder for you than for everyone else. But I know that you will develop a strong character from it. You will appreciate (as you already do) those things you CAN accomplish. Accomplishment isn't everything. <u>CHARACTER</u> is. I believe that. You make me appreciate in ways I never could before those things I took for granted. </i></b><br />
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While Elijah was trying to climb the slide, a little girl about 2 and a half years old came over and wanted to take a turn climbing the slide. She watched Elijah try to climb and then I gave her a turn, telling Elijah that "we have to take turns". As she easily climbed up the slide she said to her Mom, "See? I'm a better climber than he is." The Mom replied, embarrassed, "Well you're older than he is." I thought, <i>No. She's not.</i> I flipped through all of the scenarios in my head, and instead just said to the girl, "Well, you are a very good climber!" Then I went right back to helping my little man try to get out of it what he wanted. <br />
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He wasn't "happy". He wanted to do things he's not yet capable of. He's not dumb. He knows what he wants and knows that he's not getting it. It's only in those moments where I wish things were different. Where I wish that things could be easy for him. No Mother wants to watch their babies struggle. However, I do know that I have a fuller understanding and appreciation for things when they haven't come "easy". So...we cry sometimes. Because it's frustrating. Because you don't always get what you want.<br />
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We wrapped up our play at the playground and headed back over to finish listening to the music with Charles. The band finished a great song and the audience, along with Elijah, clapped and cheered. Elijah actually clapped and cheered louder than anyone. Everyone in close proximity to us, couldn't help but be struck by his enthusiasm. That's how it is- there are lows, but there are highs. What I admire most is that although things don't always go as Elijah might wish, he will still celebrate BIG the things that do. The moment of frustration is all but forgotten at the close of a fabulous song. That is the true gift. That is truly what it means to "live in the moment". I get it now. Mourn and cry and pound your fists when things aren't going your way. But, when it's over, it's over and you're onto something new...<br />
<br />
Cry. Then move on. Yes...that sounds about right.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9299010984/" title="IMG_2853 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2853" height="427" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2842/9299010984_7f358a6956_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9296230505/" title="IMG_2854 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2854" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3680/9296230505_b940976191_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-11162520545089686152013-07-01T23:55:00.000-07:002013-07-01T23:55:33.009-07:00A Day at the WaterslideWe don't have a pool. This has always been fine by me, as I grew up in a household with a pool...in which part of my weekly chores with my sister was to clean said pool. Let's just say that we were both scarred by the pool cleaning enough to never have owned a pool (either of us, actually). However, now that I know about pool cleaning services and ridiculously hot, San Fernando Valley days, I long for the days of a pool.<br />
<br />
Enter the local Aquatic Center. Clean, pristine, open to the public and a $2.00 entry fee with a library card. I've been taking Christian there a few times each summer on those insanely hot days to cool off for awhile. The only down side of this gorgeous pool-mecca, has been the presence of this large, looming, fun-tempting waterslide that exists at the pool. Every year has been met with disappointment or even tears, as Christian learns he is not old enough, nor tall enough to ride it.<br />
<br />
This year...since on or about May 7th (Christian's 6th Birthday), he has announced, "This year I get to ride the waterslide, because THIS year I'm SIX." I can't quite remember all of the rules and figure his mind is like a steel trap about these kinds of things, so I've probably said <i>Okay, then it will be really fun when the pool opens in June this year!</i><br />
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Let's skip ahead to June. Aquatic center opens. The days get hot and I say to Christian, "Daddy's home and can stay with Elijah while he's napping. What do you say to a quick getaway to the pool?" We pack up our sunblock and towels and head to the pool. On the ride over, Christian reminds me, "I'm SIX now, so I'm gonna be able to ride the waterslide." I say, "Are you sure, sweetie? Most of the other things at this pool have an age 7 requirement?" He says, emphatically, "I'm SURE. The guy last year told me." Okie Dokie...<br />
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We park and head to the pool entrance. There is a giant bulletin board at the entrance of the pool, which I stop to read, thinking that maybe we will take advantage of some of the swim lessons we did like last year, and there I see it....in big bold letters: <i><b>MUST BE SEVEN YEARS OLD (and 48") TO RIDE THE WATERSLIDE</b></i>. My heart sinks. I say to Christian, "Oh, no. Sweetie, look- it says here (and I point out the sign) that you must be 7 to ride the waterslide."<br />
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He crumples. Literally just crumples before my eyes. And this is it. The defining moment, right? Or maybe it's not...where I decide, do I tell him to lie or watch his heart break until next year. My mind flips through all of the possibilities while my child cries. I stoop to kneel in front of him and say softly, "Sweetie. Look at me. I know you're not seven, but you are tall enough to ride this waterslide. Maybe...just here...we could say you are seven." He stops crying, looks at me, and says, "Really?" I choose my words carefully and say, "Yes, really. We are lying by saying that, but the other rule is also that you need to be tall enough and you are. I know that you will be safe, which is why they have the rule." His eyes light up, "Okay. You are the best Mom ever." (Insert major feelings of guilt here.) We enter the building and I step up to the window to pay. The woman asks Christian, "How old are you?" And he freezes. I laugh and say, "He's seven." (cringe.) We enter the pool area and his eyes dance as we near the slide. "Can I go, Mom?!" I say, "Go! Have fun!"<br />
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He walks up to stand in line and the lifeguard says to him, "How old are you?" I think I hear, "Five! Um...I mean, SEVEN!! Seven." The lifeguard measures him against the 48" sign and allows him to climb the stairs to the slide. The sounds I hear next are those of pure joy, perhaps similar to what I will be hearing in the bowels of Hell where I will reside for encouraging my son to tell a lie...I hear giggles and ecstatic screams and then, there he is. Plunging out of the bottom of the slide with a giant grin and an energy he can't contain. Even the lifeguard smiles. Christian runs over to me, echoed by the sound of the lifeguard yelling, "No running!!" He says, "Mom!! That was the best thing EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I go again??!"<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9188350379/" title="1014772_10152922128385570_213213695_o by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="1014772_10152922128385570_213213695_o" height="640" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7341/9188350379_57af5434fd_z.jpg" width="480" /> </a></div>
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I'm a rule follower. I've stood by in my life watching others break "the rules" left and right and just cursed them for not following along. It was a moment for me. I know that my ethics and values and desire to "rule follow" will still be passed along to my kids. Maybe it wasn't "right", but for once, even though it was "wrong", it felt like the right thing to do. Let him play. He's tall enough. He's capable enough. And I believe him when he says that someone told him last year that you have to be six. (They were probably wrong, but I don't doubt he was told that.)</div>
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It's not a forever lie. It's a day at the waterslide. It's one day where I got to make my son's dreams come true. It's my hope that as the years pass, he won't be left with the lesson that I taught him to lie, but instead that when it was safe and it didn't hurt anybody else, I was the Mom who let him have his dream. I was the Mom who let him ride that waterslide, when know one else would have.</div>
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Yeah...I'm okay with that. </div>
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And I'll even be generous enough to assume that the two other kids who looked...um FOUR, and waaay shorter than 48"...had Moms with the same intentions...</div>
Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-24743078385636645902013-06-24T10:59:00.000-07:002013-06-24T10:59:33.739-07:00Under PressureSome days my stomach is in a knot so tight that I feel like I might collapse under the pressure. If and when I start to think about all of the responsibility that rides on my shoulders, it gets to be too much: the lack of adequate finances to handle 90% of the things that are applying said pressure and then the pressures of no job security, and the raising of two boys- who rely on me to advocate for them, offer a variety of life-enhancing activities, nourish their growing bodies and offer emotional security that allows them to flourish.<br />
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All of this, plus trying and wanting to have a meaningful relationship with my husband that doesn't succumb to the pressure every time we're in the same room. Yep. The mystery is gone. Gone are the days of a coquettish look. Now, even if I tried to give him a coquettish look, he'd probably think I'd gotten something in my eye...if he noticed at all. My friend Larissa used to say that traveling with us was not for those uncomfortable with public displays of affection. She recalled a trip we all took to Paris. We had rented a car and were planning to navigate the streets of France from airport through to the charming town of Honfluer, into Normandy and eventually onto Paris. Charles was the designated driver since I could get lost in a paper bag, and he has a naturally built in compass- always knowing which way is North. Larissa sat in the back seat of our red Auto Europe rental listening to us bicker about which way to go. I was map-handler, which I can actually do (it's when left to my own devices that I'm a hot mess), but France also has multiple signs...pointing in different directions, supposedly all leading to the same place...<br />
Paris <span style="font-size: x-large;">⇢</span> <br />
<br />
Paris <span style="font-size: x-large;">⇠</span><br />
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Paris <span style="font-size: x-large;">⇡ </span><br />
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<br />
...You get the idea. Maybe you even know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, we were bickering. And then we would discover we were on the right road after all, and it was all, "I love you Pookie!"<br />
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All of this was before kids. While we had pressures then, the stakes got higher after having children. Then, add to that a child who needs "more"- for whom there are a multitude of therapies designed to improve his abilities. It feels like you can never do enough. Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, Hippotherapy, Music Therapy, Behavioral Therapy, Adaptive Skills Therapy...That maybe, somehow, you're not doing enough...or that of what you are doing, you're probably somehow not doing it right. Mind you, I ride the same guilt trip with my typically developing child too. Maybe we haven't worked hard enough on teaching him to tie his shoes or pushed the reading hard enough...<br />
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The truth is that we struggle financially and that does not offer an easy solve for so many of these pressures. I was recently telling another Mom of a child with special needs that we need to go to Due Process with Los Angeles School District to fight to get Elijah a one on one aide- which is what he needs to be safe in a preschool classroom setting. She said, "Can't you just get him one and not bother with the school district?" The answer is no. No, we cannot. School let out for summer recently and if I had $1 for everytime someone asked me if Christian was doing summer camp, I might actually be able to afford that aide. Christian is not doing summer camp. There are only so many things that fit into our budget and so we have to prioritize. Summer for us looks like unstructured days with a lot of living room forts being built, water play out in the backyard, walks with the dog, playdates with friends and an occasional special outing.<br />
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Here is how I cope: I, the eternal optimist, look for the silver lining. I compartmentalize. I ask myself: <i>Can I do anything about this right now?</i> If the answer is no, then I put it out of my mind. I have to, or the pressure would be unbearable. I work hard. I cook 99% of our family meals, I make all of my kids lunches, I take the throw rug out into the backyard and scrub it clean for an hour, I re-cover the dining room chairs, I cut my childrens' hair, I do my own manicures, I do my own hair color...and I do all of this not because I'm some kind of SuperMom, but because I HAVE TO. <br />
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I remind myself that I grew up similarly to how my kids are growing up. That we didn't go out to eat often, that we didn't take elaborate vacations, or go to summer camp every year. Sometimes we were even bored. But, mostly we weren't bored at all. We made our own fun. I like to think that maybe, maybe it was some of the "lack" of some of these things that helped me become the highly creative person that I am. Give me a problem and I will offer 10 ways to solve it. Maybe I would have been like that anyway if my childhood had included daily entertainment, but as I said, I like to look for the silver lining...<br />
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Then, every once in awhile we get to escape from the pressure just a little and have a memorable, experience that doesn't revolve around our homemade solutions. One of those things came along recently, and thanks to a friend's generosity we took the boys to Disneyland for the very first time! It was worth the 6 year wait. I totally understand why I have friends that go to Disneyland as often as possible. I'll just say that it might even have been better than Christmas!! <br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128194310/" title="IMG_2387 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2387" height="524" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3773/9128194310_37f0dd0d03_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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Family photo!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9125973605/" title="IMG_2399 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2399" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3766/9125973605_5549d2f622_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128202094/" title="Disneyland Collage2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Disneyland Collage2" height="461" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3808/9128202094_f64e41f92c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
The boys are so excited!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128191522/" title="IMG_2415 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2415" height="552" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2883/9128191522_8ec37d5984_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
The only characters we actually saw (except for in the parade)...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128188108/" title="IMG_2474 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2474" height="505" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3684/9128188108_b7a685ebf7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Dumbo!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9125969389/" title="IMG_2472 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2472" height="427" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2830/9125969389_8be06de80c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Christian and his friend<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128199294/" title="Disneyland Collage3 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Disneyland Collage3" height="473" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7443/9128199294_d243a994cd_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
The only ride Elijah really seemed to love. He clapped his hands the whole way through it.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9128190342/" title="IMG_2439 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2439" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3732/9128190342_af79248b90_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9125977285/" title="Disneyland Collage4 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Disneyland Collage4" height="423" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2892/9125977285_6ef9248279_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Guess they can't pull out the sword...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9125984787/" title="Disneyland Collage1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Disneyland Collage1" height="311" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2829/9125984787_4b2c5c3a6f_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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So exhausted. He only slept for a few minutes at a time and then would wake up, look around and smile. He seemed to love taking in all of the sights at Disneyland.<br />
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The real fun was Christian. He was old enough to appreciate every aspect of it and boy was he in love!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fE0UE-6HlBU" width="640"></iframe>
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There is pressure in living life- responsibilities that we all have- whether the finances are good or not, whether you have children or not, whether you are innately an optimist or a pessimist. We each deal with our own pressures. I feel under pressure fairly regularly, but I think it makes me appreciate the simple things...my sons' laughter, a walk in the neighborhood, a meal that turned out just right...and I know that I will always have moments of worry or of wanting to "keep up". I will want to buy that extravagant gift for a friend, offer to cook a meal for someone who is sick, take that much needed vacation and sometimes these things will be possible, and sometimes they won't. Pressure, as I've been realizing, isn't all bad. It forces us into action. It's pressure that creates one of natures most beautiful gems- diamonds. I suppose, in part, it's how you handle it. It's about what you let inside, I think.<br />
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Wayne Dyer says it well: "<span class="maintext"><span class="firstword">When</span> you squeeze
an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When
you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside."</span><br />
<br />
<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-53268931650707872132013-06-16T21:59:00.006-07:002013-06-16T21:59:59.044-07:00Happy Father's Day!Happy Father's Day!<br />
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Today I reflect on how blessed I am to have this wonderful man as the Father to my children. The way he loves our boys makes me fall a little more in love with him everyday. Today we started the day with pancakes, real bacon (lol- we are usually the turkey bacon types!) and Mimosas to make Charles feel special. Christian made him a card and then we spent the rest of the day with my family, making sure my own Dad felt the love too.<br />
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To all of those with Fathers past and present- Happy Father's Day!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/9062940547/" title="IMG_2383 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2383" height="640" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7357/9062940547_a220c89017_z.jpg" width="427" /></a></div>
Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-31243524432090346352013-06-05T22:20:00.000-07:002013-06-05T22:20:47.742-07:00SixMy last post was crazy long and I didn't want to wrap up all of the drama of that with one, beautiful, major milestone that we recently celebrated: My firstborn turned Six. I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but my little guy is turning into a big kid with big ideas. Christian has blossomed this year and I think I'm gonna like "Six". I watched him with an amused smile today as he played the role of big brother with Elijah. Elijah would pull up a chair, climb onto it and then pull himself on to the top of George's dog crate with an accomplished grin. Christian would say in a sing-songy voice, "No, no, no, Elijah! Danger! Danger!" Then would come over, grab him safely under the arms and lift him down to the floor. He'd turn around to go back to the tacos he was eating and Elijah would giggle mischievously, and then lighting quick, would repeat the climb. They did this over and over while I watched with a smile, amazed at the little "game" they were playing and that Christian knew how best to pick up Elijah and was strong enough to do it. Christian has grown so much and accomplished so much this year that it kind of boggles my mind. Exactly one year ago, I was actually questioning his readiness for Kindergarten. Yet, he easily rose to the challenge- working out social complications and speeding through the newly learned academics. We can no longer plan entirely for him. He has a mind of his own and wants to give his input. He was quick to tell me that he wanted to have a Pirate Birthday Party this year. So, Pirate Birthday Party we did.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816357236/" title="IMG_2246 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2246" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3811/8816357236_52929036a7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Finally the old chest that has been hanging out on the side of our house, has a purpose! (Don't tell my husband I said that. Then I might have to admit that sometimes the stuff I often think is junk, is actually kinda cool... Shhh.)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8805808215/" title="IMG_2247 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2247" height="462" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7321/8805808215_eda77ddc83_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Treasure chest centerpieces from my business' Pirate Collection, a handkerchief table runner and color coordinated paper goods set the scene in the backyard.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8836550837/" title="Christian's 6th Bday1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday1" height="471" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3730/8836550837_9e794ab5b6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816392678/" title="IMG_2253 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2253" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7403/8816392678_8beb2fc9a7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Lots of beverages were on hand. (Adult versions too!)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8805789245/" title="schuhboxphotos-currier-59 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="schuhboxphotos-currier-59" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7446/8805789245_91ae04916a_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I had fun with my signs...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8837178894/" title="Christian's 6th Bday3 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday3" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3804/8837178894_9e37225cf6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Plus, the<a href="http://www.bestpartyeverla.com/" target="_blank"> best pirates EVER</a> showed up to entertain the kids!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816382876/" title="schuhboxphotos-currier-22 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="schuhboxphotos-currier-22" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8535/8816382876_eedef75eae_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816383696/" title="IMG_2263 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2263" height="426" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7355/8816383696_eba2b5d6a3_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816387702/" title="IMG_2261 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2261" height="518" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3672/8816387702_042c8591a8_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816379108/" title="schuhboxphotos-currier-34 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="schuhboxphotos-currier-34" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8272/8816379108_84368a29b9_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The treasure box could only be opened if a Birthday Boy was around. Christian to the rescue!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8805790773/" title="schuhboxphotos-currier-39 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="schuhboxphotos-currier-39" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5454/8805790773_cdba0f5493_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816385908/" title="IMG_2299 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2299" height="427" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5446/8816385908_218ed60345_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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My nephew and niece were game to handle the Pirate Face Painting and Tattoos. It was a blast to have my family involved this way...and they did a really good job!! Thanks Garrett and Ciara!!!!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8837172950/" title="Christian's 6th Bday6 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday6" height="472" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3772/8837172950_fb19b2db84_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The piece de resistance was the Pirate Playship that Charles built. This is something we have been talking about since Christian was a baby. A fancy catalog came in the mail one day many years ago, and it had the most beautiful Pirate Playship that I had ever seen in it. Buying it was not even a consideration. The price tag? $52,000. (Yes!! Can you imagine??!!!!) Charles boasted when he saw that, "I can build a Pirate Playship and mine will be BETTER!" :) Well...his is better in that he made it, it's entirely made from recycled parts and it is a 100% love, sweat and tears effort. And the kids.....LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8836548731/" title="Christian's 6th Bday2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday2" height="424" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8551/8836548731_7f1d56bbac_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8966453398/" title="Christian's 6th Bday7 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday7" height="444" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2879/8966453398_b00f4f1c0b_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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There was a pirate pinata and even pirate themed gifts...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8836542619/" title="Christian's 6th Bday5 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Christian's 6th Bday5" height="466" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7370/8836542619_1ec311c055_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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And finally, the cake!! My Mom (Christian's "Nana") made a couple of cakes that were a big hit!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8816383222/" title="IMG_2318E by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_2318E" height="426" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5463/8816383222_7bbe9b8885_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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It's been almost a month since the party, and so much has happened in between that time to distract me from posting about Christian's Birthday. However, as I look back at these photos and remember the squeal of the kids having fun, Christian insisting, "It was the best day EVER!" and how much fun we had sharing this day with Christian's friends, it warms my heart. It's these moments that need to be cherished. Even as life spins around us- distracting us from moment to moment.<br />
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Six. It's a "big kid" number.Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-33452324356956722512013-05-30T08:25:00.001-07:002013-05-30T08:25:08.072-07:00Disneyland FirstsWe went to Disneyland with the boys for the VERY FIRST TIME and this is what they had to say:<br />
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Christian:
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Elijah:
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As the day went on, Elijah's word "Disneyland" got clearer and clearer. Although it sounded a little more like Di-nee-lan, it was SO fun to see him mimicking more and more in regards to speech. He got a second wind at Disneyland later that day and would toss his arm in the air and gleefully shout, "Di-nee-lan!!!"<br />
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The day was magical, and I can't wait to share pictures and stories from our first ever trip (with the boys) to Disneyland!! Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-637604100692217102013-05-22T16:33:00.000-07:002013-05-22T16:33:01.906-07:00Preschool, Meningitis and thoughts on being the Squeaky WheelThe week started off rough. I took Elijah to his newly assigned preschool, with his new teacher and had high hopes for the class. I stayed for about 30 minutes to help Elijah get acclimated, but quickly saw that there is no way that this class or the teachers provided for it, could possibly help my son physically navigate the classroom and grounds as much as he needs it. He's not independently walking yet, and once he is, it will be unlikely that in the beginning he will be strong enough to walk throughout the 3 hour preschool day. I left that day, feeling very anxious and came back to pick him up and talk to the teacher at the end of the school day.<br />
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While I was speaking to the teacher I saw another little boy with Down syndrome, crying and crying with snot running out of his nose while an aide tried to walk him to the bus. He wouldn't walk (he looked exhausted to me), but she kept saying (gently), "Come on...you need to walk." But because he wouldn't, she would just drag him hanging by his wrists a few steps. Then the same thing over and over. I turned to Elijah's teacher and said, "That is NOT okay!!! Children with Down syndrome have low tone which can leave them with weak shoulder girdles. That boy could dislocate a shoulder being "walked" like that! Under no circumstances should Elijah EVER be walked that way. If you need to let him crawl within the classroom, fine. But under no circumstances should he ever be walked like that." She told me that she understood, but that she would be unable to help Elijah much physically, as she has a bad back for which she is undergoing physical therapy (an injury due to having to restrain a child from hurting himself). She mentioned that the teacher's assistant also has back problems. There are three adults in the class room, so that leaves the surly looking aide, who couldn't appear less interested or suited for her job. All I could think is <i>How can I leave my child here??</i><br />
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I was concerned about the class structure, because from what I had seen in class there was a LOT of patient waiting that was required of them (20 minute snack time, walking and waiting together to go to the bathroom, have hands wiped down, go to the library, etc), a 40 minute circle time and in the times I visited I saw no indoor, classroom playtime. I asked the teacher about the amount of waiting that was required, and she assured me that the kids were not able to do it when they first came into class, but now can. (That wasn't really why I was asking, but I can understand to some degree why learning to sit and wait patiently could be important. Overall, in preschool, I find it developmentally inappropriate.) I asked her if there was any free choice inside the classroom playtime for the kids. She got a big smile and said, "Oh, yes! On Fridays!" It took me a second..."On Fridays???? JUST on Fridays??!" She responded, "Well, yes. We used to do it more often, but the kids were throwing the blocks and making such a mess and I need to have control over my classroom, otherwise it's just daycare." I get it. I do. It's not for me or my child, but there are parents out there who might prefer a strong structure like that for their child. Mine needs to be able to put his hands on things and experience how they work, to learn to socialize and pretend play, and to learn in a way that is more "across the board" than just sitting in a cube chair staring at a white board/chalkboard that I'm not even 100% sure he can see!<br />
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I left the school crying. When Christian started preschool I cried too. But, I cried because he was growing up and gaining some independence and needed me just a little less. With Elijah, I was crying because I don't feel safe leaving him there. It's a terrible feeling that no Mother should have to experience. I decided that since it isn't safe for me to leave Elijah at school, I needed to pull him out. I intended to go to school to find out when his therapy sessions are scheduled and then only bring him to those sessions until the emergency IEP meeting is scheduled to get him a new school along with a one on one aide. I walked into the office where the two surliest looking set of office staff I've ever seen, were working. (Surly is the only word that comes to mind. I know...I KNOW that these women's jobs are demanding a lot out of them and that they have parents coming at them from all directions, but I have toured a LOT of schools by now and this crew is particularly sad.) I told one of the women that I needed to find out when Elijah's therapies are scheduled for. She told me she would have to call me to let me know about physical therapy, but the speech therapist was on site that day. She grunted in the direction of the classroom 1/4 mile away. We walked down there, Elijah in my arms, knocked on the door and no answer. Knocked again, no answer. By the time we walked back, I was <b>done</b>. I asked the office staff to please call me with both the speech and PT info when she has it. She called the speech therapist and said to me, "Well, she's there, so you can just walk back." I looked at her, with a struggling Elijah in my arms and said, "I don't have time to walk back there now, I have to get my other son to school." <br />
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The office staff woman finally connected me by phone to the speech therapist, who sounded friendly and knowledgeable. She told me she picks all of the kids up on Wednesdays around 9:30am. Something she said set off an alarm bell in my head. I said, "Well Elijah is scheduled for individual speech sessions." And she replied, "What? I've never had a child at this particular school in 22 years scheduled for one on one speech. Did you go to due process?" More alarm bells. I said, "Well, it's in our IEP." She looked at the IEP and said, I don't see it listed here as individual." Heart drop. <i>What???!!!</i> My heart starts racing and my mind starts spinning through what I signed. I told her I'd get back to her once I looked into it. I grabbed the copy of the IEP I had in my purse and looked it over. I specifically confirmed <i>The PT is one on one, right?</i> and got a yes response from the IEP team. So I looked at the language written into the IEP (which is greek to me), it says: Direct Service (Collaborative). So, I scan my eyes to the Speech service listing...it says the same thing. So, if one is a group service according to the speech therapist at the school, then they both are. I'm pretty sure my blood began boiling at this point. I asked over and over in our meetings if they were offering individual service for Elijah, one on one, not group and the answer was always yes. I need to do research into what the initial IEP papers that we didn't sign said, and see if they are different from what actually got signed. I went home immediately and contacted a lawyer who works specifically on special education cases. <br />
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Then this happened.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8748213166/" title="922395_10152814788220570_1688643078_o-2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="922395_10152814788220570_1688643078_o-2" height="501" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8537/8748213166_6079e9687c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I woke up in the early, early hours of Tuesday morning with an intense headache. One that woke me from a deep sleep. I wrote it off thinking weather changes, the glass of wine I had, who knows? I took some Tylenol and went back to bed. In the morning the headache still wasn't gone, the Tylenol hadn't done much. It felt like an extreme pressure in the front of my forehead and the base of my skull, near my neck. It was intense and although I rationally knew my head couldn't physically explode, that is what it felt like. I've never had a migraine, so I thought maybe that's what those are like. I continued on with my day, but by the time I got to teach my ballet classes, I got out of my car to walk and my whole neck was stiff. My back felt like it might go out at any moment, so then I thought that maybe I just have something seriously out of alignment and was thinking about how I could get an emergency chiropractic appointment. I went in to teach and my symptoms started changing. I started getting fever chills and feeling a little woozy and that's when I knew something was really wrong. I told all of the girls to keep their distance- it might just be a migraine, but just in case it would be better to hang back from me. I hung in for a couple of hours and then knew I needed to get home and get to bed. Of course, Charles had just left to go out of town on business that morning. I called my parents to let them know I was really not feeling right and to call and check on me in a couple of hours.<br />
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Through the night things got worse and I woke up early wondering how I was going to get out of bed, let alone get my kids up, dressed, fed, lunch made for Christian, and off to school. After a bunch of phone calls, my Dad saved the day and got to my house, got the boys dressed and took Elijah with him while he took Christian to school so that I could get to my doctor at the nearby Urgent Care Center. She looked me over, took a urine sample and said in her motherly/doctor way, "Sweetie. I need to send you over to the ER. I'm worried this is Meningitis. They are going to have to do a spinal tap and some blood tests on you to find out." I called my parents, texted Charles and drove myself over to the ER. Apparently when you write "Doctor Suspected Meningitis" on your intake form it is your ticket into the ER <i>FAST</i>. You know...just don't say you heard it here. ;)<br />
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Within an hour, I was hooked up to an IV of antibiotics as a precautionary measure (if the tests came back as a diagnosis of bacterial meningitis, a heavy course of antibiotics would be required, as it is a life threatening illness and is the kind of meningitis that you hear all of the scary stories about.) The doctor asked me a lot of questions and gave me that skeptical look that doctors sometimes have- like maybe you're just a big baby and making it all up. He said he didn't think it was meningitis, but he'd been wrong before, so they were going to have to do a spinal tap and run some blood tests. The weird thing all along is that even though I knew next to nothing about meningitis, my instinct kept flashing Meningitis- even from when I woke up that very first morning with the intense headache. So, although the ER doctor wasn't thinking it was meningitis, my gut was. I signed the paperwork and got prepped for a spinal tap. Luckily my best friend, Denise, and friend Randee were at the hospital to make me laugh and be my support.<br />
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My friends were ushered out of the room, and the doctor began to explain the spinal tap procedure. I'd had an epidural with my first-born son, so I knew what it was like and wasn't that worried. He explained the risks and the unlikely-hoods, and talked me through each step. I finally just said, "I pushed a baby out without drugs, so I'm really not worried. Just do what you need to do." Halfway through the procedure I began to feel woozy, and the nurse said, "Okay, let me know if you feel like you're going to pass out." I said, "I think I'm going to pass out." The nurse hooked me up to some oxygen and held me firmly. I didn't pass out.<br />
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The tests results took a couple of hours, and I was required to lay flat on my back to be sure that the spinal fluid could reproduce (?). The doctor came in later with the news. He said, "Well, it does look as if you have a mild case of viral meningitis. Of the kinds of meningitis to have, this is the good kind. Unfortunately, since it is viral, it means there isn't much we can do to help you except to help manage the pain." I was released and my Dad took me home to collect my stuff. Thankfully, the boys and I would be able to stay with my parents while Charles was gone, so I had a little help getting healthy again.<br />
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Within 2 more days, I was feeling like me again. By the weekend, I was feeling completely antsy to get out- which timed perfectly with having one of my events to run. Now, I'm back in the swing of things and working hard to figure out this crazy school district system. I'm frantically researching our options for Elijah and am starting to get responses from the school district team. I'm sure that I am being seen as that "squeaky wheel". And you know what? I'm okay with that. Even my people-pleaser mentality is sitting with my new role, because I'm doing it for my son. I don't want to be the parent of that poor little boy with Down syndrome that I saw being dragged around campus (twice, by the way. And the first time was not done gently, at. all.). That boy takes the bus everyday and I'd be willing to bet his parents have no idea about what's going on.<br />
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Which is why I'll be following a certain school bus around one day soon. Looks like me and my squeaky wheel have some investigating to do...<br />
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And just so my post isn't all depressing...our most recent family photo. Stolen from a friend. Photography by Teresa Rish.<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8747105864/" title="487410_10151795329849505_943549209_n-1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="487410_10151795329849505_943549209_n-1" height="395" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8117/8747105864_363002a3ea_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-79843334139551428732013-05-02T12:48:00.001-07:002013-05-02T12:48:38.105-07:00I Think I Can, I Think I CanHe doesn't *Think* he can. Walk, that is.
Elijah has been on the verge of independent walking for quite some time, and as all of his therapists and I've suspected, it's a confidence issue. Today, he stood up in the middle of the room, picked up a basket and walked....probably because it felt like he was holding onto something that was stabilizing him. Of course, I didn't catch THAT time on video. But, I did catch this little glimpse...<br />
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Now we just need to get him to think he can do it, without holding on. He's so close!! Come on baby boy:<br />
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<i><b>I think I can, I think I can</b></i>...just like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Engine_That_Could" target="_blank">Little Engine Who Could</a>, you can too!!Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-19544674067033204282013-04-25T23:07:00.000-07:002013-04-25T23:07:16.502-07:00He's THREE<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680311662/" title="2013-04-21_7102 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_7102" height="444" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8115/8680311662_3289d0943e_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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How is he THREE??!! My sweet Elijah turned THREE on Saturday. The time has flown and although he has given me a little more time to savor him as a baby, because of his developmental delays, it has still gone lighting fast. It seems as if overnight he has become a Toddler. Although he is still not independently walking, he is sooooo close and he is soaring in so many areas. He wants his independence, he manages to communicate his needs and he has quite a sense of humor. We threw a party for him at Gymboree Play and Music. He LOVES music..and play, for that matter, so the theme I thought up? Music and Play. Of course! :)<br />
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Some of the party details: I started with the idea of a VIP backstage pass as an invitation...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680301532/" title="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage3 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage3" height="473" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8264/8680301532_5045195ee3_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Mailed it off... (But tried multi-tasking too many things at once and never got invitations out to two of the most important guests- my own nephew and one of Elijah's "besties"...)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680301076/" title="IMG_1917 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1917" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8122/8680301076_518b9be2a9_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I created a fun eating area with Electric guitar centerpieces that I made, and made use of existing Gymboree colors (while adding some other shades of blue) in our plates, utensils and linens- blues, purple, black and orange!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680302284/" title="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage1 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage1" height="471" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8532/8680302284_efb8d25144_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8679191121/" title="IMG_1993 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1993" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8394/8679191121_3f3a178507_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I purchased straw cups for all of the kiddos, because that is what Elijah uses and created a party favor inspired by my little man. We gave bags filled with a toy vibrating microphone and a CD of Elijah's favorite sing-a-long songs.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680301886/" title="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage2 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Elijah's 3rd Birthday Collage2" height="469" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8399/8680301886_d1c67a6565_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8679191431/" title="IMG_1991 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1991" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8385/8679191431_32ebc6bbb6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The rest was all about play and enjoyment. It was fun to see the kids having so much fun!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680313126/" title="2013-04-21_6850 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_6850" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8541/8680313126_85b6f456ac_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Playing with Daddy...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8679203237/" title="2013-04-21_6888 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_6888" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8391/8679203237_ce61db3e69_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
My adorable Nephew made it to the party, despite the unmailed invitation :(<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680312504/" title="2013-04-21_6891 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_6891" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8406/8680312504_a6274d8d46_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Circle time...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8679202731/" title="2013-04-21_6923 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_6923" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8534/8679202731_887d51f762_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Paying attention...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680312026/" title="2013-04-21_6935 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_6935" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8116/8680312026_2d81756f01_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Big brother getting in on the play action!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680311826/" title="2013-04-21_7085 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_7085" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8531/8680311826_66f16b1388_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Climbing!<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8680311476/" title="2013-04-21_7104 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="2013-04-21_7104" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8122/8680311476_09c4aa9da1_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
He loves the parachute!!<br />
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It was the perfect end to an anxiety ridden week. At the age of three, kids who have a diagnosis of developmental delays transition from receiving services through an organization in California called "The Regional Center" to services that are provided through a child's school district. We are in the Los Angeles Unified School District. We've been getting such amazing services for Elijah that the transition is a bit like owning a fully loaded Mercedes and then being told: "Here is your brand new Pinto. Oh! And by the way, we're not entirely sure if it will run. And the air conditioning doesn't work. Plus you'll have to kick the door to get it open..." BUT....at the end of the day, both a Mercedes and Pinto can get you from point A to point B, so as long as that happens, we're good. My general mantra has been, <i>It's <u>PRESCHOOL</u>. How bad can they F it up??</i> Perhaps that's cynical, but I think at this point I'd rather be pleasantly surprised.<br />
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THREE. Wow. <br />
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-74546674787191470412013-04-15T22:37:00.004-07:002013-04-15T22:37:42.521-07:00Carnival Complete.At the start of the school year, I was fired up to be involved. My son, Christian, got into Kindergarten at our #1 school of choice and I wanted to find a way to "give back". I hoped that maybe there would be some place in the volunteering needs where I could use my experience as an <a href="http://www.lasoireechic.com/" target="_blank">Event Planner and Designer</a>. I showed up to that first meeting, all ready to raise my hand. They passed out a sheet that had available positions open and I immediately noticed that "Carnival Chair" was wide open. Now, I know this is a big position, but I got excited, because it's exactly along the lines of what I do. Never mind that I've never specifically planned a "Carnival" or that as a Kindergarten parent I barely know a soul at the school... So, low and behold, they get to the portion of the meeting where they are doing a call for volunteers. People seem hesitant, and some reluctantly agree to take on positions. The mention of "Carnival Chair" comes up and I shoot my hand into the air, "I want to do it!" I practically shout. Everyone stares at me in shock for a moment. I think someone said, "Really?!" "Yes!" I said, "I'm really into it, it would be a lot of fun." You could see the room visibly relax. Well....7 months later, I know EXACTLY why. That sucker is a hell of a lot of work on probably one of the biggest, if not THE biggest fundraiser of the year. Um hmm. Flashback: I practically <i>shouted</i>, "I want to do it!"<br />
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Well, 300+ hours of free labor later, and...we had a Carnival. It was on Saturday. And it was spectacular.<br />
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I will admit that for a stretch of time, I was thinking that I was in over my head. I didn't have enough people helping, and I was doing too much on my own. I wanted to delegate, but I just didn't know enough people to say, <i>Hey, I need some help here</i>. I relied on the parents who had gone before me and who did know people and they were amazing. I called on my friends and my business partner and even my ballet students! I learned how to say, <i>Help! I need help!</i> and when someone asked how they could help, I was ready with a task or two or three.<br />
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I made changes to some of the carnival plans they have used in the past because I thought a few things might work better: I thought that even though it would cost a little more, that we needed a "Main Stage" area, that was a tented, covered area for the kids to perform their practiced songs. The school has never had any shade, and considering that the carnival takes place every year in April, it is often hot- last year was brutally so. The parent who was going to MC/DJ the event, had suggested a live auction and although it was just too late in the game to have any large live auction items, I came up with the idea to make 2 dimensional wood "surfboards" out of plywood, paint them different colors and then have all of the grades put their handprints on the surfboards. We would have one for each grade. Then, we would auction them all live at the carnival. This way, if they didn't go for much money, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. It wouldn't be embarrassing like a donated Hawaii trip only getting $200. So, we all agreed to give it a try and I set out to get these things made.<br />
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My business partner's Dad came through for me and cut all of the surfboards (Thank you, Larry!!), then I set to getting them painted. My vision was to stick with the color scheme I had designed to go with the theme I had come up with: California Adventure Carnival, with shades of blue, green, yellow and orange. Here's the first step:<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8654493298/" title="536966_10152713976040570_1463512882_n by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="536966_10152713976040570_1463512882_n" height="612" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8262/8654493298_e2f087e331_z.jpg" width="612" /></a><br />
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Just about the time I was freaking out and feeling very exhausted and deflated by the whole carnival planning process, I began step #2: Getting the handprints on the surfboards. I set out with my small team of 4-6 ladies, and on a Monday morning, we stopped into each class, took a few minutes of their class time and got the kids handprints onto the boards.<br />
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The interactions I witnessed within those classrooms were nothing short of astounding and beautiful. Our school is a full inclusion model, which means that kids of all abilities- from those who are gifted to those who have special needs all learn in the same classrooms. Because they all grow up with each other, they don't see "difference" the way we adults do. They see each other as individuals. It's not "So-and-so" in a wheelchair. It's Joey who loves rock music and wearing hats. It's not "That girl" who has Down syndrome. It's Sophie who has a great sense of humor and loves Justin Bieber. I saw a handful of interactions of typically developing kids that weren't helping out a classmate because they had special needs, but were helping out a classmate, because they were <i>friends</i>. I was humbled and it confirmed for me just how important it is that my son, Christian is at this school. He needs this. He needs to be around all kinds of different so that he will grow up a responsible and compassionate adult. Nevermind what this school will mean for Elijah when he gets there. It will be great for him too. But, right now, I see the benefit more specifically for my typically developing child. My little surfboard project helped put all of the hours of carnival planning into perspective: This is what this is all for. <i>This is for the kids</i>. <i>These</i> kids- these warm and compassionate kids. I had a whole new second wind...<br />
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Phase 2 of the surfboard project:<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8654493254/" title="561886_10152724239145570_1345804452_n by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="561886_10152724239145570_1345804452_n" height="612" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8117/8654493254_6c2ff3fdfc_z.jpg" width="612" /></a><br />
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We finally made it to Saturday. The weather was cooperating perfectly- even a slight chill to the air, instead of the dreaded 90 degrees. Weather reports called for a high of 72 with a cloudy morning, and a sunny break through around 2pm, and that is exactly what happened. Everything came together pretty smoothly, and I fought my typical "Type A, perfectionist" work ethic and mumbled my mantra: <i>It's a <u>Carnival</u></i>.<br />
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I had no time or equipment (I forgot my camera...although I doubt I could have carried it around all day) to take quality pictures, but here are a few...<br />
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My beloved Entrance, with my handmade palm tree (Charles did the tree trunk and I did the leaves), the banner that a carnival committee member pulled out of her hat last minute, and the finished surfboard project (Oh yeah...and my cutie, Christian in his carnival tshirt):<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8651269084/" title="IMG_20130413_105215 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_20130413_105215" height="556" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8519/8651269084_b3f670903d_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I sent little pennant flags home with every single student in the school to decorate with their favorite thing about California and then strung them up around the main stage area. They looked really, really cute and this photo definitely doesn't do them justice.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8650162359/" title="20130413_111618 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="20130413_111618" height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8100/8650162359_1167032059_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The "back of the bleachers" project. Every year, the carnival committee covers the back of the bleachers with cardboard and paints something decorative on it. It was a BIG job and I was pretty skeptical that it could look good, but I created a simple "Walk of Fame" look for our bleachers and it came out okay...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8651261896/" title="20130413_111633 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="20130413_111633" height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8379/8651261896_3711afa8da_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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We had games and food and crafts...like potting a plant. (Here, two volunteers showing a Kindergartner how to plant one...)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8651263058/" title="20130413_111849 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="20130413_111849" height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8542/8651263058_89aeff56f7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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We had face painting... (The Principal did the face painting on the right. Talent beyond her job set, right?)<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8650046571/" title="Downloads20 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Downloads20" height="444" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8246/8650046571_0a491f9d06_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Then, we had - for the first time in the history of the school and my pride and joy: a Ferris Wheel!!! I didn't know if I could pull it off, but I found just the right size and it was a hit all day long! The "dunk tank" which featured a toilet that dumped water on someone's head if you hit the lever just right, was staffed by some of the school's teachers and administrators. Those people are rock stars in my book. It was even a little chilly when we started, but they rallied anyway.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8650159339/" title="Downloads22 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Downloads22" height="430" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8381/8650159339_5b4dff4eef_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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My hubby Charles showed up with Elijah in the afternoon and even took the little guy for a ride on the Ferris Wheel. He loved it and I totally melted!! It might have been the cutest thing I've EVER seen...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8651145500/" title="Downloads21 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="Downloads21" height="434" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8254/8651145500_cd5e7df900_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8650020549/" title="20130413_145323 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="20130413_145323" height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8111/8650020549_b4ed21c14b_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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I couldn't help but grin ear to ear as I walked the campus watching everyone enjoy themselves so much. It was everything I hoped for. Oh..and those little surfboards? Well, the MC auctioned them off, and all in all they went for almost $3000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When the first surfboard auctioned off for $550, I was jumping up and down and screaming like a lunatic. I was SO excited! I expected they would sell for $50...maybe $80, so to see them appreciated for the sentimental quality (all of the hand prints) and the craftsmanship (Come on...who doesn't like a cute surfboard?), I was ecstatic.<br />
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The carnival came to a close with hundreds of people still hanging out and dozens of people chipped in to help put things back in place. I was amazed at the community of people who were there to help. Although it may have been difficult in the planning to process to find and get help, the day-of was well in hand. The school has a definite sense of community and everyone pulled together to make sure things were back in place for school to resume on Monday. I had many people come up to me and thank me for all of the work I did...and I'm not gonna lie: It was A LOT of work. But, the appreciation was very much...well, appreciated. A thank you goes a long, long way. So, even though many of these people probably don't even know my blog exists, I am going to thank some people who chipped in and gave me a hand along the way:<br />
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Karen, Charles, Amy, Tom, Dan, Shannon, Tomiko, Lori, Kathy, Denise, Larissa, Sarah, Tiffany, Katie, Kerstyn, Sophie, Michele, Emi, Sara, Robin, Liz, Kelly, Paula, Stacy, Julie, Larry, Katherine, and my Mom- both for moral support and helping to watch the boys so I could fulfill my responsibilities! Thank you, thank you- for all being such an amazing support and willing to take time out of your life to help me in my volunteering efforts. Your help is sincerely appreciated.<br />
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And...lastly, to "Arthur", who sent me the nasty email about "How disappointed" you were that I was doing things differently? You suck. Period. You really don't get to have a nasty opinion when you haven't picked up even a pinky finger to help. There. I feel better already. I turned the other cheek to Arthur's nasty email and did not respond...which was probably the most adult thing I could do. However, I am happy to take this passive-aggressive moment to stick out my tongue and waggle my fingers at him on my public blog. :)<br />
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And, now, I plan to put my feet up and take a deep, relaxing breath. It's over and when I go back to my email, there will not be 100 new emails all with the title "Carnival" in them....Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-80724234690539536942013-03-26T21:27:00.003-07:002013-03-26T21:27:38.525-07:00Spring (I need a) BreakMy workload has been crazy lately. Managing my schedule, between work, quality time with my family, and basic household chores is difficult enough as it is. Life decided to throw in "Dead Mini Van", "Buy a new car", and "Begin the IEP preschool transition process for my little guy" on top of the rest of the heap.<br />
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I got the news a couple of weeks ago that my Minivan would rest in peace after "throwing a rod". Apparently this is akin to dying a quick death. Engine dead. Too costly to bother repairing. It's just as well. I had been driving around terrified of the impending doom for quite some time, and frankly it was wearing on me. I was on my way with the boys to meet a new friend from the Down syndrome community for a playdate at her house, when just as I was cresting a large grade on a freeway, my van just...turned off. I began praying loudly as there was no place to pull off the freeway. <i>Please God just let us get to the exit. Please God, Please God... </i>We did get to the next exit- thankfully unharmed- and sat there waiting for what to do next as my heart beat began to slow back down to a normal pace. We got my car towed off to a nearby parking spot (it was a weekend- after mechanic hours. Of course.) and went for our playdate anyway. <br />
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The process of buying a new car and disposing of my old one was long and drawn out and a lot of money was spent on a crappy rental car- that thankfully was cheap and crappy, so that when I closed my finger into the door of it, didn't break my finger. See? The silver lining. But finally...FINALLY, I have a new (to me) car, that is problem-free, fuel efficient, and kinda cute. I sadly said goodbye to my roomy minivan with my ability to fit just about anything into the back of it, in exchange for a car I can rely on. I happily took that trade off.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8586711120/" title="IMG_20130314_104147 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_20130314_104147" height="640" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8107/8586711120_7794525c2d_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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And the license plate? I'm embracing it. It's even pretty true.<br />
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This week was rough. We have been gearing up for Elijah's transition to preschool, and finally had our IEP assessment. This assessment brings together a team of people- a psychologist, a Physical Therapist, an Occupational Therapist, an Adaptive PE teacher, and a Speech Therapist- to assess what your child is doing and what the best placement & goals for them would be within the public school system. Our assessment was on Tuesday, and I calmly packed up Elijah, some snacks, our discharge report from the current program he's attending and got to my desired location 5 minutes early. Strangely enough, we were told to wait in the waiting room...and waited and waited. I began to get very nervous. if we were meeting just one person I could see the delay, but wasn't there a whole team of people waiting for us? Eventually, our Regional Center Coordinator came down. To inform me we were at the wrong place. Only I had no idea where to go!! I panicked. Began calling every phone number I had access to in relation to this appointment and only got voice mail. Our Regional Center Coordinator suggested I just go over to the last location I had an appointment with the school system at. I began driving and calling. And the tears started.<br />
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I was driving aimlessly around town, making calls, when I finally pulled over and double checked my email. There it was- clear as day, even though I had not seen it- a specific address and location directions for the meeting. I was bawling by now. I turned onto the street near the school we were due at, and a woman began to cross the street in front of my car. I couldn't believe my eyes- it was Elijah's old Physical therapist!!! I shouted Hi and she came over, all smiles to the car. So, I began bawling again. I was so overwhelmed and to see a friendly face, just put me over the edge. She calmed me down, assured me that it was FINE- they were running late anyway, and to take a deep breath.<br />
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The assessment itself went alright. Elijah mostly did what he does- so I felt like they got a pretty accurate sense of his abilities. Which is good. The part that was not as good for me, are the inaccurate statements that still circulate about what a child with Down syndrome can and can't do. I heard at least 3 times this exact sentence: "Well, since he has Down syndrome, he'll OBVIOUSLY be in a Special Education class." I said nothing. The reality for us is that I actually do think that RIGHT NOW, a special education class is what will be best for Elijah. His gross motor skills in particular are so far delayed that he really needs help. So, while I do think a special education class will best best for Elijah this year, it is NOT true to say that all children with Down syndrome should be in a special education class. There are many kids with Down syndrome that would do better in a typically developing preschool class. It's frustrating to hear over and over again- even before they meet my son- that the understanding about Down syndrome (even by those that would call themselves professionals) is so inaccurate. It's frustrating to feel like your child will be underestimated because of outdated concepts.<br />
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Although I had frustrations about the understanding and language, everyone was very nice and Elijah was his typical charming self. The kid knows how to win people over, that is for sure.<br />
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I couldn't have been happier to leave this week in the dust. School is out for Christian for the next two weeks, my work schedule is slightly lightened, as my ballet teaching job is on Spring Break for a week, and I'll have a little more time to fit in some quality activities with my kids. Yesterday, we attended the DSALA's (Down syndrome Association of Los Angeles) Egg Hunt. We packed up the kids, some snacks, and the camera and headed to the park to meet up with everyone. The Easter Bunny was there, and I couldn't wait to see Elijah's reaction...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8587064937/" title="IMG_1685 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1685" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8506/8587064937_db941ba65e_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8588164490/" title="IMG_1687 by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1687" height="427" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8107/8588164490_605b8a953a_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/53005854@N02/8587065423/" title="DSALA Egg Hunt by virgojennie, on Flickr"><img alt="DSALA Egg Hunt" height="436" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8367/8587065423_84462f9c77_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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The series of photos feels a bit like my week was:<br />
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<i>Whoa!</i><br />
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<i>I don't like you!</i><br />
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<i>Alright...I'm cool!</i><br />
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Looking forward to a more <i>Alright...I'm cool!</i> week ahead...<br />
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-54480276142349533042013-03-13T22:28:00.000-07:002013-03-13T22:28:04.597-07:00Happy Birthday. Now, Get out.Today, after school, as I was unloading the boys and the stuff from the trip home, Christian came over to my side of the car, holding a dandelion wish. He had no idea what it was, so I told him, "All you have to do, is close your eyes, make a wish and blow! Your wishes float up to God and they may come true." I demonstrated, by closing my eyes and wishing,<i> Please, God, let Elijah end up in the preschool program that is right for him... </i>and then I blew the "wishes" into the air. Christian got very excited and ran to grab another dandelion wish. He closed his eyes, paused and then blew the wishes into the air. I couldn't resist. "So, what did you wish for?"<br />
He said, "A race car bed and to go to Magic School."<br />
Those are awesome wishes. But, my wishes these days are usually not for me. I have dreams and I have silly wishes too, but I tend to spend my wishes on my kids these days. At least when it's SERIOUS...<i>like when wishing on a dandelion weed.</i><br />
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Yesterday, I toured possible preschool programs for Elijah. Frankly, it's depressing. Elijah has been in an AMAZING center-based therapy program since September this year. He has blossomed. He has been interacting and socializing with other kids. There is a 1:1 ratio, a Physical therapy gym, an Occupational therapy gym and 10+ therapists who care deeply about the success of the children who attend this program. It's a dream come true. ....And then there is the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD). As soon as Elijah turns 3...and I mean, literally ON HIS BIRTHDAY, he must leave his current program and be transitioned into LAUSD, where he'll receive (hopefully) the services he still needs support from.<br />
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Happy Birthday. Now, get out.<br />
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I spent the morning crying over the options we'll have. I couldn't quite put my finger on the reason for the tears at first. It's certainly partly that Elijah is growing up quickly and already about to begin preschool (I also cried when Christian began preschool. Then cried when he started his second (and last) year of preschool. Cried when he graduated. Then cried when he began Kindergarten. I'm seeing a trend here...) So, there's that. But, it's also because the options for Elijah are greatly reduced. On the tour yesterday, I looked at a class at a nearby neighborhood school, and frankly, there is no way that Elijah is ready for that. Those kids were fully self sufficient, and there weren't any obvious diagnoses. I'm thinking mild speech delays might have been the extent of it. Elijah WILL get there, eventually. He's just not there right now.<br />
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We went to one school who had been on my "Avoid-this-school-radar", and I had very low expectations. The class we looked at is called a Preschool Intense Class...which sounded kinda scary and limiting, but when we walked in, I saw a very upbeat, positive and loving teacher who was engaged and engaging with her students. My first thought was, <i>Elijah would LOVE her!!! </i>Unfortunately, I also saw the same kind of class with a teacher who seemed cynical, down beat and slightly negative. Her tasks were ridiculously ill-suited to her students, and as a result, the kids' diagnoses seemed more severe. They weren't engaged. In fact, quite a few of them seemed a little "checked out." And, frankly, I didn't blame them. <br />
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Over the next few weeks, we have scheduled assessments which all lead up to a final IEP (Individualized Education Plan). As of April 20th- Elijah's 3rd Birthday- he will be booted from the current placement he is in, and begin a school placement that is purely about "Accessing the Curriculum" and not necessarily what is best for <i>Elijah</i>. Like I said,<br />
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Happy Birthday. Now, get out.<br />
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So, I'm using all of my Dandelion wishes on my kids right now, and because he needs it, especially on Elijah. My own wishes for "me" will be saved for after that 3rd Birthday. Although I did get a little "me" wish come true this week- no dandelion weed necessary. A client sent a little Thank You gift for a job well done. Just a little Michael Kors handbag to say, <i>We appreciate you. </i>It left me thinking,<br />
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"Get out??!!! Happy... Birthday!!"<br />
<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3848169887881858510.post-2429083722094703512013-02-22T21:42:00.001-08:002013-02-22T21:42:54.067-08:00I Need An Acronym Like I Need A Hole In The HeadMy little one is getting close to three years old. I barely know how it happened, but he is getting ready to transition to preschool. In the world of diagnoses, turning three isn't just about "preschool". It's about <b><i>Services</i></b>. When Elijah was born, we contacted what is called (in California) The Regional Center. The Regional Center (We'll call it the RC from here on out) helps to provide children and family who have specific diagnoses, with the services they need- things like Physical Therapy (PT), Occupational Therapy (OT), Speech Therapy (ST) and even Child Development Services (CDS) which is kind of like "Play therapy:" Phew! Did you follow that? Well, this became my life- understanding it, becoming an advocate for it, fighting for it, being willing to become "the high maintenance Mom" for it. Whatev. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that.<br />
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I am someone who has always had an opinion. If something needs to be "talked about", I do it. It's not always comfortable, but I've been willing to do it. However, when it comes to the paperwork and the red tape and fighting authorities on what one might need? ...Not my strength. I avoid paperwork and red tape like the plague. Until I had Elijah. My Mama Bear instinct kicked in and I was warned: You might have to fight for what you want. That worried me. (Again: Not my strength.) We ended up with an RC Coordinator who, while very good at his job overall, does. not. return. phone. calls. promptly. I should say now, that in the big picture of things, I'm glad we got who we got. I learned to be the squeaky wheel. I even learned how to make phone calls and to leave voicemail messages that go something like this: <i>"Hi _______________! This is Jennifer Currier, Elijah Currier's Mom, I left you a message on Monday and Thursday of last week and haven't heard back from you. I really need to hear back from you this week as SOON as possible. I am going to begin my call and email campaign, EVERY. DAY., MULTIPLE. TIMES. A. DAY until I hear back from you. SO, perhaps you can call me back sooner than later. Thaa-anks! :) Love you... mean it... bye! </i>(Ok, I didn't really say <i>Love you, Mean it</i>. But you get the gist.)<br />
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In the course of "fighting", I have learned a lot about the system that is in place to help children with special needs and their families. Let me just say...there is a LOT of "lingo" that goes with it. But, nothing prepared me for the impending round of assessments to get Elijah ready for preschool. <br />
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I met with our RC coordinator and a representative from the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) to have what is called a "Transition Meeting" to begin to prepare the paperwork for Elijah to be transitioned out of the RC and into LAUSD- into a preschool program, where he'll only receive services that help him to "navigate the classroom". So, over the next 4 weeks Elijah has APPOINTMENTS: He has an Audio/ Hearing And Health Screening next week, he has a discharge meeting with the program he is currently attending, I am taking a tour of two of the available LAUSD programs that he might be able to attend, and then Elijah has a 2 hour assessment by a team of psychologists, physical and adaptive therapists, a speech therapist, and an occupational therapist to assess what he be capable of and what he'll need to begin preschool. Cleansing breath.<br />
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I attended the transition meeting without Elijah- giving my perspective of where he's at and what he's doing. They had the paperwork wrong. The LAUSD representative passed me a printed sheet to approve. I read: <i>Elijah sat up at 15 months, crawled at 12 months and walked at 12 months.</i> I was like, "Whoa Nelly!" Elijah isn't walking at 2.9 months, much less at 12 months!!!! The service coordinator and LAUSD representative suddenly looked at me, alarmed. <i>Why not??</i> Umm.."Well", I said, "He seems to have particularly low muscle tone in his core...maybe even lower than typical for other kids with Down syndrome....but he is getting there. He is cruising and walking with some support, but he just isn't there yet." The two coordinators breathed a big sigh of relief. I continued to read: <i>Child is diagnosed with Down's Syndrome.</i> I stopped, looked up at the LAUSD representative, took a breath and said, "Did you know that it is not called Down'S Syndrome?? There is actually no apostrophe "s". It is called Down. syndrome." She said, "REALLY??! I had no idea. I thought it was based after the doctor who discovered it." I told her that yes, it is just Down. I also didn't realize the difference, but when we received Elijah's diagnosis, that I researched it all and learned that it is Down syndrome, not Down's. We continued.<br />
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I escaped the transition meeting unscathed. It was fairly harmless- just a meeting to discuss briefly where Elijah is developmentally. I was told we would be contacted for appointments and assigned an LAUSD representative. I spoke with our Representative on the phone this week. She seems knowledgeable and prompt. She emailed me a confirmation of Elijah's assessment meeting. I wrote her back asking if we could tour some of the available programs, and asked about one in particular that I had heard good things about. She wrote me back and said,<i> </i>"Oh...well, if it is the KIT program, that is designed for our AUT children. The PSM is the same as the other program you'll see and the PCC is what we'll discuss but is not typically recommended for our incoming 3 year olds." I was like BTFU (Back the fuck up)...WTH (What the hell) are you talking about??? LOL. (Instead, I wrote, I have NO IDEA what you just said. Please repeat: In English.)<br />
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I'm getting the vibe that it's a whole new world. Yeah...it kinda sucks. I was just getting used to the old world and had finally figured that one out. Now I'm all.... <i>WTH. LOL. I need a BFF who can BYOB. </i><br />
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I know I made no sense there, but frankly those are the only acronyms I know. I need to figure out how to help my son get what he needs. I don't need another acronym. I need another acronym like I need a hole in the head.<br />
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Which is...well, not at all.<br />
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P.S. When I spell-checked this blog, all of the acronyms were highlighted in bright yellow as being Wrong.<br />
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That was my point.<br />
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<br />Jen Currierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08771925085762398153noreply@blogger.com9